


Come Back, I Still Need You

by goldtrim_bluerose



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anger Management, Blood and Injury, Doctor/Patient, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Grant Ward Has Daddy Issues, Guidance Counselors, Prison, Protective Melinda May, Protective Phil Coulson, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide, Teen Natasha Romanov, Violence, teen grant ward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22135558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldtrim_bluerose/pseuds/goldtrim_bluerose
Summary: Melinda and Phil are coworkers at a prison. Phil is the counselor and May is a doctor. They meet for the first time when one of the prisoners try to kill themselves. It all goes downhill from there.
Relationships: Philinda
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	1. Code Blue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back!!!!! I took a break from writing to deal with some life issues and now I am presenting you with my first story of 2020!
> 
> Enjoy!

A loud knock came from the outside. Melinda May looked up from her paperwork to find her assistant Maria standing in the doorway out of breath. “Yes?” She said shuffling more papers back into place. 

“There is a code blue.” Maria explained and took off, leaving Melinda to follow behind. “What does that mean?!” She yelled as she struggled to keep up. “It means, something is very wrong.” Maria turned right and Melinda followed carrying the basic medical supplies in her bag.

Groups of yelling prisoners lined the hallways and was being held back by officers. “Hey!!!” One man yelled as Melinda passed by. 

“Over here!!” Maria called and May looked at her feet. A man was on the ground with a large cut along his neck. Melinda sprang into action. As she tried to find where the bleeding came from she realized she had bumped someone. She quickly apologized and went back to work.

She moved to her left and pressed her hand on the man’s neck causing him to jerk in the opposite direction. “Stay...still” She mumbled while a pair of steady arms pushed the man back onto his back.

“An ambulance is coming!!” Maria yelled out and ran back to help. “We need to find where the bleeding started!” Melinda agreed and started poking around. 

While they were working a man managed to push through the crowded and proceeded to talk to the man on the floor who was losing a severe amount of blood. Melinda had no idea who he was, however, the more help the better.

He kept telling the man it was okay and that he was safe with them and that they wouldn’t let him die. 

“He’s losing too much blood!!” He suddenly yelled. 

Melinda looked up surprised it wasn’t Maria yelling. Instead it was a man she had never seen before. Blue eyes and light skin. Even a calming voice to fit his calm posture. However he had big hands, hands that could hold the moon. 

“Paramedics coming through!!” A man yelled breaking Melinda’s thoughts. Soon after the man was loaded onto a stretcher and taken away, the noise died down and things returned to normal. 

Back in her office she ripped off her jacket and washed her hands. After 5 years of being a doctor, it was still weird to have someone else's blood on her hands. It didn’t feel right.

“You done yet? There’s someone outside your office!” Maria asked banging on the bathroom door. “Just coming!” Melinda yelled back undoing the ponytail her hair was in. 

She came out of the bathroom and her guest was already let in. He was standing across from her. “Hey. You need me for something?” She asked hoping she wasn’t in any trouble.

“Actually yes. Can we talk?” The man asked and Melinda politely agreed. “I saw you at work. Your good.” He complimented while she continued to stare at his eyes. “I- I’m good? Gee, thanks.” She smiled causing him to smile.

“Phil Coulson. Counselor.” He stuck out his hand for her to shake and she shook it saying, “Melinda May. Doctor.”

“When we both end our shifts, you want to go out for coffee?” He asked getting up. She laughed, “You came all the way to thank me for doing my job and inviting me out to grab coffee?” 

“Looks like it.” He blushed, ‘So, I’ll come back here at 9pm and then we leave?” 

“Sure. Need me to bring anything?” Melinda asked now looking at his chest.

“Nope. Just you.”


	2. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a mess. She was a mess. A mess Melinda May needed to quickly clean up before 9pm.

Melinda watched in horror as the girl in front of her was being put down like a wild animal. She kept fighting the guards off with all her might but when they grabbed hold of her arms she started to kick her legs and scream at the top of her lungs. 

When Melinda though she was done with her scene, she walked over to the table and looked at the shaking girl. She looked about 15 or 16 years old. “What happened to her?” She whispered and walked back over to her desk where another stack of papers were left for her to address. She sighed and glanced over at the clock, it was only 5pm. She couldn’t help but think about this Phil Coulson guy and how he thanked her for doing her job then invited her for coffee. It was strange.

Phil couldn’t help but think about the beautiful Asian woman he met earlier that day. She seemed so quiet. She was a mixed bag for sure. He knew it wasn’t time for them to meet again but he couldn’t resist visiting her again. There was something about her that made him want to come back for more. Whatever it may be. 

He made his way down the hallway and found her office number with no trouble. He peered in and saw her bent over a girl on the table. Based on the way the girl twitched every so often made him think she was going to get up and attack Melinda. He almost went in until a comforting sight relieved him. The sight of the girl tied down to the table put him at ease as he ran back to his office before anyone noticed he was gone. He slouched back in his chair and sighed.

Melinda heard a tiny sob across the room. It was small but easily noticeable in the quiet room. She walked to the table to assess the noise and found the tied down girl with tears flooding down her face. Her heart hurt looking. She knew it was her job to fix it but she didn’t know how to. She thought of calling Maria but was stopped when she took a good, long look at the girl. She didn’t realize that while she was watching the girl, the girl was staring right back at her. 

“I need help.” The girl whispered still half sobbing. Melinda took notice and leaned in closer. “Why are you helping me?” She asked now looking Melinda directly in the eyes. Melinda took a minute to analyze what the girl had just asked her and responded slowly with a question, “What are you thinking about?” The girl forcefully pulled and tugged at the restraints but couldn’t seem to figure out why she couldn’t get up. She finally stopped her attempt at freeing herself and looked across the room at Melinda who’s back was turned to her. 

“Don’t leave me.” More angry and quick movement then silence. “Are you just going to leave me?!” She spoke just loud enough for Melinda to hear. “Just trust me.” Were the only words Melinda said before she took off down the hallway, leaving her office door open.

“Excuse me. I need you to free my patient who is currently tied to my examination table.” Melinda explained firmly to the guard nearby “Sorry. For safety reasons, all patients who have a violent record stay tied up.” He responded turning his back to Melinda and proceeding down the hall. “Sir, I don’t think you understand!” She yelled running after the guard. The guard stopped in his tracks and walked back to Melinda. 

“I think it’s you who doesn't understand.” He replied firmly and continued to rant. “Do you want to get fired for not following safety protocol? Do you really want to risk your life for a person you don’t even know and will kill you before you get a chance to even know their name?!” He looked her dead in the eyes. 

“Maybe I would want to get fired. Maybe I want to risk my life for someone I don’t even know yet. But what I would want is for my patient to be free. Free from her troubles. So go on...tell them to fire me. I don’t care.” 

Just as Melinda turned her back to the guard, he managed to grab her left arm and pulled her back to him. Melinda didn’t bother to fuss with getting free. He pulled her close to his body and yelled in her face, “Is this a game to you?!” She ignored his words and pulled herself on her feet. “Like I said, I don’t care.” And with that she swiftly marched back to her office leaving the guard alone in the hallway.

She sighed in relief as she slammed her heavy office door shut and released her hand from a tight fist. The set of keys, now warm and foggy in her hands sparkled in the light. She was lucky that while the guard pulled her close to his body and yelled in her face, she took the opportunity to reach out to her right and slowly, very, very slowly unhook the set of keys without any trouble. 

“Why did you do this?” The girl asked as Melinda unlocked the restraints. “I can’t just sit by and do nothing when you’re suffering so much.” She responded as the last of the restraints were unlocked. The girl stared at her with new tears coming up and suddenly dashed across the room to an unlit corner of the room.

“No. No. Don’t do this. Don’t think you can get inside my brain with giving me my freedom! It’s all bullshit!!! You hear me!!! It’s all bullshit!!!” She yelled defensively as Melinda walked over. “Don’t do this to yourself. Just talk to me, please.” Melinda responded holding back as much tears as possible. Her immediate response was to wrap the girl, the hurting, lost girl in her arms and give her the world. But she couldn’t. 

“You need to stop pushing everyone away,” Melinda hesitated before saying, “You know, I may be the only one on this planet who will care about you the way,” Melinda hesitated, “the way a true friend would.” She realized it sounded much cooler in her head then out loud, but it is what it is. “I don’t need a friend!! I need...I need help,” the girl stopped and looked Melinda harshly in the eyes, “And there’s nothing you or anyone can do to help me.” 

Melinda dropped to the floor on her knees in front of the girl, allowing an equal space between her and her patient. When she looked up, what she saw made her heart shatter. The girl was sitting, curled in a ball, digging her nails into herself with tears streaming down her face and the look of pure terror took over. Melinda shifted forward directly in front of her and tried a new approach. 

“Natasha right?” She asked slowly taking a breath, the girl mumbled something and nodded her head still not looking at her. Natasha’s breathing was heavy and she was now sweating. Melinda opened her mouth but nothing came out. “Shut up! Just...shut up. I don’t, I don’t need to hear your pathetic excuses.” Natasha blew out some air as she waved Melinda off again. Melinda sat there dumbly, as if she didn’t know what to do, but honestly, she didn’t.

While Natasha was twirling her short red curls around her finger, Melinda took the opportunity to observe. Her outfit was simple, a grey t-shirt with ripped black jeans and no shoes, not even socks. As Melinda’s eyes made their way up to her face, she noticed her cheeks were pale and her eyes red, swollen from crying. Her face with cuts and bruises along with scratch marks along her neck. It was a mess. She was a mess. A mess Melinda May needed to quickly clean up before 9pm.

Time flew before Melinda’s eyes and it was 8:40. Natasha was still on her floor with her back turned to Melinda, perhaps sleeping or not. She couldn’t leave her like this, but she also desperately needed to leave. So she did the next best thing, she walked over to her closet and grabbed a blanket down. She slowly let the blanket fall on Natasha, it was the least she could do after having no hope of helping her. 

A loud knock came through the door causing the tired girl to jolt up off the ground and grab a nearby book off of Melinda’s desk for self defense. She clutched the book so hard that her knuckles were red and her veins started to show. She was so tense and afraid that she jumped at the second knock and ran straight towards the door. 

Melinda grabbed the girl by the arm causing her to drop the book and she was pulled her down to her knees and wrapped her in her arms and spoke calmly to her. “Hey, hey...it’s okay. It’s okay. No one’s going to hurt you. Your safe with me, okay?”The girl grabbed onto her hand and was shaking so hard, Melinda thought she would loose it right here, right now. Her eyes were lost in time, they stayed like this until another bang at the door, forced Melinda to see who it was. She slowly pulled her hand away from the girl who whined when she was left alone on the floor. Melinda carefully backed away and looked out the glass, it was Phil. He was ready but she wasn’t. She gave one final glance at Natasha before addressing her date for the night.

“Your early.” She spoke quietly then looking him in the eyes. ‘Actually, you are late.” He smiled and pointed at the clock. “Right.” Melinda admitted knowing that she would go over time and of all days it had to be today. “Here’s the thing I have a patient who...” Phil interrupted her by saying, “Save it for coffee.” And smiled. “Give me a minute. Sorry.” She said that last part more quietly as she was quite embarrassed. “Hey. I’m so, so, sorry but I have to go. I’ll come back tomorrow morning.” It was lame, fast, and very bitter of Melinda to just abandon her for the night but she couldn’t take her with her. “Promise you’ll come back?” Natasha’s eyes filled with fear and betrayal looked directly at Melinda’s hurt and sorry eyes as she stood up. “I promise.”


	3. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Suicide wasn’t on today’s agenda.” He spoke and sighed sadly. “It’s not on anyone’s.” She added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is shorter than usual. Chapter 4 will have more. Enjoy!

As they drove to the cafe in silence, Melinda thought of Natasha and how with every comforting word Melinda said to her, the tighter and tighter she held the shaking girl to her body. As if protecting her from any harm. The sight was heart wrenching.

“Are you usually this quiet?” Phil asked breaking the silence in the air. Melinda noticed that he gave a quick glance at her before making the turn. She sighed still deep in thought. “Not really,I just have a lot on my mind.” She gave a small smile of reassurance as they pulled into the parking lot. “You wanna talk about it?” He asked holding the car door open for her.

Melinda sighed before speaking, “If it makes you feel better, it’s about work.” He guided her over to a small corner table that was dimly lit up with menus already placed on it. “You want iced coffee or regular,warm coffee?” He asked looking up from the menu. “Actually, I don’t drink coffee.” She smiled when she saw his dumbfounded face. “Really? Then why’d you come?” 

“It’s simple, to be nice.” She shrugged. “Really? To be nice? Is that even a thing?” He burst out laughing as she shook her head no. “Well, now you know, I’ll go with you to a coffee shop but I won’t drink any.” She smiled and pointed at their drinks. “Common Melinda, they have the best coffee.” He poured some of his freshly brewed coffee into a smaller cup and handed it to Melinda. She waited for him to drink before she did. 

The warm liquid made Phil’s throat feel warm and sweet. however, when Melinda drank a sip with encouragement from Phil, it tasted sweet. Artificial sweeteners that made her tongue burn. She gave a fake smile to show her politeness and looked down at her cup as she swallowed forcefully. “You know you don’t have to continue to drink this right?” He smiled playfully and handed her a glass of water. “Thanks.” She gratefully took a sip and let out a relieved sigh.

“So, how did a nice woman like you end up working at a prison?” He wanted to know, badly. “I should ask the same to you. You are clearly much nicer than me.” She smiled and continued, “I’m biter and complicated. It’s one of my charms.” 

“I don’t think you know what word means. Or how to count.” He pointed out and she continued, “It was my mother. She wanted me to give back to the world. And she also fantasized about me being a doctor. So, here I am.” She took a sip of water before asking, “What about you?” He took a breath before answering. “Well, I was a history teacher…”

“What happened?” She asked curiously while taking another sip of water. “I decided, teaching about the past wouldn’t help the people of the future so I quit and became the school counselor to help future generations of kids. After a while, I realized I needed more of a challenge so I started to look into other places that I could help at. That's how I got here.” 

Melinda was breath taken. All that for the future generation? And here she was thinking her story was complicated. 

“You did good this morning.” Melinda broke the silence causing him to face her. Eye to eye. “Suicide wasn’t on today’s agenda.” He spoke and sighed sadly. “It’s not on anyone’s.” She added.

As the day came to an end, Melinda couldn’t stop thinking about what happened that day. From an attempted suicide to getting a new patient to going out and grabbing coffee with a person she could happily could call her friend. It was all happening so fast that she could hardly keep up. When she finally was done thinking, long and hard, letting herself get lost in her thoughts, her heavy eyes gave in and she fell asleep.


	4. Breaking The Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you won’t move, I'll do it myself!” He roared picking her up and throwing her across the room. She landed with a loud thump and banged her head against the table.

After a warm cup of coffee, Phil was ready to start his day. He opened his laptop a small knock came from outside his door. He blinked twice before answering. He slowly opened the door and saw Melinda was standing by the door way. 

“Hey, I wanted to thank you for last night,” She began and remembered her gift. She began pulling out a medium sized pin that read, “Best Former History Teacher!” in neat handwriting. 

He had no words. None. 

While he was too shook to say anything so all he could do was pull Melinda into a hug. “So do you like it?” She asked quietly trying not to ruin the moment. “I love it! Thank you.” He said releasing her and she pointed to the coffee on his table. 

“So you weren’t lying. You really do drink coffee first thing in the morning.” He blushed. “We should get back to work.” Melinda reminded him still smiling herself. “Right...and thank you for the pin.” She gave one final smile as she turned down the hallway, leaving Phil alone in his office holding the pin cupped in his hand. 

“What did I ever do to get this beautiful pin?” He whispered to himself, then he looked back down the hall and sighed. He knew what he had done and was not ashamed one bit.

“Um..excuse me? Do you know where the counselling room is?” A man the same height as him peeked through the door. He shoved the pin in his pocket and replied with,“This is it!” 

“Really?! And are you Phil Coulson?” The man asked still in some shock by his accidental finding. “Yes!” The man stuck his hand out for Phil to shake. “Clint Barton. I guess I’m your assistant.” He explained to Phil.

“Well then let's get to know each other and I’ll show you the ropes.” Phil guided him into the room and straight to the large pile of folders on his desk that patiently waited for them.

As Melinda walked back to her room, she thought about Phil and how he hugged her and was left speechless by her gift. Then she thought back to herself, and how she spent the night wondering if he would like the gift. Her mind instantly thought back to Natasha who was hopefully still in her room.

When she opened her office door she found Natasha in the middle of the room sleeping just as Melinda left her. Her chest rose up and down. She was so peaceful that Melinda didn’t want to wake her. But they had work to do. She placed her jacket and bag on her chair and knelt beside the sleeping girl and gently shook her awake. 

“Natasha!!!!” A disembodied voice cried out. “Natasha!!!!” It continued. “Shut it boy!” A slap sound made its way to her ears. She turned around and saw her brother being held down by her foster father. “Let him go!” She yelled out but its like she was a thousand miles away. “Your going to kill him!!” She yelled out again. “Stop!! Stop!! I’ll do whatever you want!! Stop!” She pleaded and pleaded but nothing did the trick.

He looked up and met her tear struck eyes and hissed,“Your next.” and dropped the boy to his knees. “Nat-natas-run!” The boy painted trying to gasp for air. “No! I’m not leaving you!” She screamed as he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her down the stairs to the basement.

“Did you do it?!!” He yelled in her face. “Did-you-do-it?!!” He yelled and started punching her in the face. He kept asking and punching until his fists had her blood all over them.

She couldn’t see well but he turned to the stairway and walked up leaving her on the floor of the basement. She slowly inched her way to the stairs trying to call for help only to be greeted by her foster father who had returned with a giant bucket of ice. 

“Get!” He yelled pointing across the room. Commanding her as if she was a dog. “Get!” He yelled once again. “If you won’t move, I'll do it myself!” He roared picking her up and throwing her across the room. She landed with a loud thump and banged her head against the table. 

“Natasha...honey...wake up..”Melinda gently shook her awake. Natasha shot up in an instant. Her heart skipped beats from pure terror as she looked around the room. “Did you do it?!!” The voice boomed in her head. “Stop!!” She cried out and a pair of arms wrapped around her. “Get off of me!!” She screamed some more and tried to wiggle free but couldn’t.

Melinda shushed the girl and held her tightly trying her best to comfort her. Natasha gave in and stopped screaming and fussing. She was breathing hard and looked up at Melinda who was also looking down at her. “Good heart. Bad temper.” Melinda began and slowly let go of Natasha. “It was my fault. I couldn’t save him…” She whispered. Flashing images of her helpless brother being held captive by her foster father flew through her mind. 

“If you’re treated like a monster for long enough, you become one.” Melinda explained to her as she sat crossed legged across from Natasha. “Can one person be the source of so much pain?” Natasha wondered curiously and stared blankly at Melinda waiting for a response. “What do you mean?” 

Natasha took a breath before answering slowly. “You have no idea who I am or what I have done.”

“I know who you are and I know what you have done.” 

“You think you can control me? You never could because nobody wants me. Not even myself.”

“Such dirty words from such a pretty little mouth.”

“He was never mine, but losing him broke my heart.”

“You know they’re going to use the things you love against you,” Melinda hesitated before finishing. “Is that- is that what happened to you? Did someone use something you love against you?”

Natasha gave a small nod and replied with tears in her eyes, “There’s no greater terror than watching someone you love fall right in front of your eyes.”


	5. When All Else Fails, Send Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Give him a chance. Please.” Melinda begged, half whispering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't know what to name this chapter. I might change the tittle in the future. Also, sorry this is shorter than normal.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Hey punk get over here, I wanna show you something!” The boy who was called slowly walked over to the table, head down and eyes fearful. He slowly raised his head to the older boy who was perched on top of the table. His audience snickered and laughed out loud. His eyes locked onto the other boy’s eyes, waves of muffled noise went in and out followed by another push and kick at his side. Everything went dark. 

“Wait. Don't move. Let me help you.” A quiet voice instructed. He took a breath out and tried to look around but it was no help. He suddenly remembered everything that had happened to him. A shrill cry echoed around the room. “I didn’t mean to kill her. I screwed up”

Melinda sighed before she spoke, “Grant, we went over this and I’ll say it again. You didn’t screw up. You gave her a gift. The gift of rebirth and freedom.” She faced the teenager. “What happened?” 

Without hesitation he explained, “When I woke up, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to burst into tears. I wanted to kill myself, but all I could do was stare at the wall in silence.”

Grant looked at Melinda for her response, but to his surprise, she didn’t. Instead she got up and grabbed the phone off of her desk. He watched her carefully and slowly. She began to speak quickly and slowly. He couldn’t make out what she was saying but when she was done she stood by the door as if waiting. 

Waiting to be rescued from this hell hole. Five more minutes passed and the door swung open and in came a white man. He was a few inches taller than Melinda but he wasn’t huge.

He sat down in front of him. “I know who you are. Don’t try to get inside my head like you did to Daisy. You couldn't save her, you didn’t even try. So what makes you think you can save me?” Grant snarled. Phil and Melinda exchanged looks. Phil stood there in shock.

“You wanna talk about it?” Melinda asked motioning to the door. Phil began speaking as soon as Melinda closed the door behind her. “I was always taught to put others first. Especially in this line of duty.” Melinda’s eyes softened, “Yes...but this time if you don’t take care of you, there won’t be a you to care for others. Don’t let him get to you. It’s just how he is.” Phil sighed walking back into the room, “I sure hope you are right.”

When they returned after their pep talk, Grant was as quiet as ever. Not a word slipped through his lips as Phil kept throwing questions out at him. He seemed so hollow and empty. Something was wrong but Melinda didn’t want to mention it. She had seen the look on Phil’s face when the name Daisy was mentioned to him.

It was painful for Melinda to watch but she had no choice. When they were done, without a word Phil got up to leave. He didn’t even look at Melinda as he closed her door behind him. She sighed and turned her attention back to Grant. “Give him a chance. Please.” Melinda begged, half whispering. He finally looked up at her and stared deep into her eyes.

“Why aren’t you dating him?” Grant asked quietly but gave a small smile. Melinda didn’t know what to say other than, “Because I’d destroy him.” He seemed to understand, “He’d be into that.” Melinda smirked, “I’ll consider it.”


	6. From Here Begins The Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No you didn’t but he signed up to raise you. To change you and make you better people. And that’s what you should take away from the story.”

The next few days rolled by quickly and Melinda was expected to be back in Grant’s cell for another follow up meeting regarding his injuries. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves before gingerly stepping inside, bracing herself for what she was going to see.

Grant was perched on the edge of his bed, his body tense, his face dripping in sweat, his breathing fast and shallow. A look of relief seemed to wash over him when he saw Melinda enter his cell. His big brown eyes looked up at Melinda as if pleading for help. She looked back down at him, eye’s filled with sympathy. She slowly sat down next to him on the bed.

She looked at him and then the wall and back at him. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. Just take your time.” Melinda looked around the room for any causes of his episode. She noticed that his clothing was scattered on the floor and his personal belongings like his tooth brush and hair comb were also on the floor. 

She began to reach out her hand to pick up the belongings off the floor when an older man wearing a guard’s uniform stepped into the room. Grant looked up at the man. He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He just stared at him, expressionless. “A word doctor.” Melinda gave one last look at Grant before following the man out the door and letting it close behind her.

“How long has this kid been here?” The man looked her dead in the eye. She let out a small breath of air before answering. “5 weeks.” He looked around the halls before turning his attention back to her. 

“Has this kid been a burden towards you or any other staff? Causes any trouble? Need discipline? If he is then-” Melinda cut him off, her eyes sharp and her tone defensive. “I think what you are asking is if he needs to be isolated. Caged. Like an animal. A monster who is a danger to all.” 

The man crossed his arms and hesitated before he answered. “Believe me when I say that the boy has done bad things. He’s a curse because wherever he goes, trouble lurks from behind. But-” 

“But?” She snapped, ready for what she was about to hear. “But. According to his aunt, he is kind, he is home for family gatherings, he never forgets someone’s birthday, he gets good grades and is on the football team.”

He stared at the wall behind Melinda. “Your point?” She narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth. “My point is, how is it possible for a perfectly normal child. Who had a childhood. Who had parents who were there for him. Who protected him. How could he turn into something so inconsiderate, short tempered, spiteful and rude?” He stopped. 

“What happened to my little boy?” Melinda could tell he was trying to hold back some tears. They stood there looking into each other's eyes trying to read body language.

“Something called life happened to your little boy. He grew up,and it happens to everyone whether you like it or not. And you come out of it a different person from when you started. Even if you come out bad, you’ll still come out changed. ” She said firmly, trying not to show any emotion. The man cleared his throat and looked behind him before continuing.

“I am going to have to transfer Grant. I feel that the staff is being too kind and compassionate towards him. And based on what he’s done over his life, he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. He needs to go to hell in order to know what kind of hell he gave his family. A taste of his own medicine. My wife and I didn’t sign up to raise a monster.” 

Melinda was shocked by how badly Grant’s own father talked about him. She couldn’t imagine how many times Grant wanted to give up and not fight anymore. And he had a right to. She couldn’t imagine having a father who hated you and yelled at you every time you spoke or asked a question. It made Melinda sick.

Before he turned to leave Melinda spoke up. “No you didn’t, but he signed up to raise you. To change you and make you and your wife better people. And that’s what you should take away from the story.” He gave one last final look at Melinda before turning his back and walking down the hall.

She just stood there trying to form a thought. Until she realized, she had a thought but not the right one. She wanted to walk away from this issue but she couldn’t because the future of another person was lying on her shoulders. Grant depended on her to make this choice for him. She knew what she had to do.

A loud knock came from outside the door. Phil looked up from his clipboard and stared at Natasha who had given him a clueless expression. He got up and walked over to see who had knocked on his door. To his surprise it was Melinda. 

“Hey. What’s up?” He asked kindly, trying to keep the conversation quick and short. She gently pushed past him and speed walked into his room. He raised an eyebrow and closed the door.

“Should- Should I leave?” Natasha asked in a low whisper looking at Phil who was looking at Melinda as she slowly slid into his chair. “Sure, comeback in five minutes.” He said slowly and Natasha got out of her chair and pulled her rolled up sleeves down. She gave one final look at Melinda who was staring down at the ground with a worried expression on her face before leaving the two of them alone.

“What’s wrong? Is it about the guard?” Phil pulled up another chair next to her. Melinda looked up in shock. “You knew?” He smiled and replied back. “Of course. I couldn’t resist seeing what all that noise was about. Curiosity got the best of me and before I knew it, I was watching a pretty Asian woman talk some sense into one of the guards.” Melinda stared at him. “Oh. Also, I know you were the one who took his keys. And don’t worry I didn’t tell.” 

Melinda just sat there in confusion. But she couldn’t help but smile. “Oh,that.” She began. “Thanks for not telling.” She looked up at him and suddenly was reminded why she seeked him out and she stopped smiling. “Your welcome. But something isn’t right. I can tell.” Phil moved closer to her as tears fell from her eyes. 

“He- he’s getting a prison transfer. But there’s more to it.” Phil didn’t know what to say, or let alone do because the woman he admired so much for her bravery, was crying right in front of him. “It wasn’t…it wasn’t him telling me to say my final goodbyes to him.. it was...” Melinda didn’t want to seem like the enemy and get fired for saying all these bad things but she couldn’t help it. “How could someone hate another human being let alone their own child so much?” She sobbed, trying to catch her breath still not looking directly at Phil.

“He calls Grant inconsiderate, short tempered, spiteful and rude. None of which are true.” Phil slowly wrapped his arms around Melinda and she leaned her head on his shirt. He gently held her and stroked her hair. “Who told you about the transfer? The boss? A guard?” He asked, half whispering. 

“Officer Ward.” Phil remembered him. Officer Ward was the one who first showed him around on his first day. He also was the officer who Melinda took the keys from to help Natasha. There had to be some kind of connection between Melinda taking his keys to telling her about Grant’s transfer. Maybe he was trying to teach Melinda a lesson by threatening to transfer Grant. His thoughts got cut off when Melinda said something that caught him off guard. 

“I wish that I could have recorded the conversation to show the world, to show Grant the truth about what his father truly thinks of him.” She looked up at Phil who was staring back down at her. “Hey. Hey. Listen to me.” Phil cupped her face into his palms and tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear. “I will help you okay? You don’t have to save him alone. I want to help and besides, he is my patient too.” 

He gently wiped a tear from Melinda’s check. She nodded in agreement. “Thank you.” She whispered and wrapped her arms around him. She was truly grateful that she had Phil’s help but she couldn’t help but wonder, why her? Why did he specifically tell her about the transfer? Did anyone else know? And more importantly, did Grant know?


	7. Just Another Day At The Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melinda leaves to visit her parents and Maria is in charge, Phil helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For later in the chapter: I’ve always thought of Daisy as Robin’s little sister so that’s how that came about. Also thanks to nightsisterkaris for inspiring the Phil and Maria conversation throughout the chapter.

2 Months Earlier:

“So will the 30th work out for you? Or are you out of town again?” Melinda sighed, scribbling out the old date and writing a new one down.“Yes Qiaolian, the 30th is fine. Make sure to inform your boss as well. We don’t need you getting fired while you are away on your break.” Melinda rolled her eyes. “Of course.” 

Melinda made a note to email her boss. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, she tucked some hair behind her ears before returning to the call. “So what's the plan? Where are we going?” She asked eagerly. “Well there is a festival happening on the week that you will be here.” Her mom replied smiling knowing her daughter couldn’t resist a festival.

“Well, you do know how much I love festivals. I’ll buy the tickets.” She smiled and proceeded to open a new tab on her web browser. “No need. Your father already got them from a friend.” Melinda sat there shocked. She couldn't even move.

Never in her life did her dad get festival tickets. It was always her mom or her aunts getting them. What was so special that this year her dad finally had the nerve to get tickets? “Okay. I have to get back to work. I’ll call you soon.” Melinda looked over at the clock on her desk.

It was only 7pm but she was exhausted. She had only seen 3 people in the morning and 4 people in the afternoon. Her tired body was giving in and it probably meant she didn’t have enough sleep. 

“Okay. And don’t you go canceling at the last minute like you did last year.” Her mom reminded her harshly, forcing her to remember what made her cancel last year. “And the year before that!” Her father added. “Don’t worry. No surprises.” Melinda swore hoping they would believe her.  
——————— Now: 

After a long and mostly boring flight, Melinda was ready to do something that didn’t involve sitting or planes. Her butt hurt and after multiple attempts to find a good sleeping position, she gave up and stared out the tiny plane window for the rest of the flight. This was one of the reasons Melinda disliked traveling.

She wandered around the airport shops looking for some food to eat while proceeding to text her parents that she was at the airport. After a while of searching for something to eat, she finally settled for Wendy’s. The soda she had been sipping had kept her awake long enough to check her emails. 

She missed work. She wanted to be there and present in case anything happened to Natasha or Grant. Or even Phil. But she didn’t worry too much because Maria had everything under control. Or, so she hoped. 

\---------------

Now:

“So, I thought about what you told me and I have a plan that might work. You wanna hear it?” Phil asked, walking into Melinda’s room with the door wide open. To his surprise Melinda wasn’t there. Instead someone else was sitting on her chair. “A plan? For what?” Maria asked, raising her eyebrows curiously.

“Oh. Nothing. It’s something Melinda and I were talking about yesterday.” Phil reassured quickly trying to not draw attention to the issue. “Right.” Maria smirked and turned her attention back to her computer. Phil wandered around Melinda’s office and studied each item she had left on her shelf.

“So, Melinda is out of town for a few days. She’s visiting her parents and she left me the files and schedule. And since both Grant and Natasha are your patients, you could help me.” Maria explained to Phil, still staring at her computer. “Uh...good plan.I’ll deal with Natasha and you deal with Grant.” Maria looked up at Phil. “Do you have a personal preference?” She asked, getting out of her chair and stacking folders into a pile. 

“Well...I could say that I d-” 

“No? Great. Grant’s coming in ten minutes.” Maria marched towards the door.

“Wait. I never agreed.” Phil caught up to Maria.

“Well, I never agreed either so...it’s kinda your fault why you're seeing him and I am not.” Maria shrugged her shoulders and stepped out the door.

“There’s a guard who wants to transfer Grant but Melinda won’t allow him to.” Phil blurted out.

“Wait, really?” Maria gasped. Phil nods. “Who?”

“I’m not telling you.” Phil looked at the clock hanging on the wall. “Oh, wow, what’s his name is coming soon. If you want me to see him, you should leave. Take this as your get out of jail free card in Monopoly. Next time I won’t let you off that easy.” He gave a slight push and out the door she went.

\---------------

Melinda wrapped up the remaining parts of her lunch and headed for the elevators. As she stepped into the elevator with her suitcase by her side, she sighed and stared at the floor. Melinda didn’t travel for all the glory and beauty. She traveled because she had to. 

Her parents were both too stubborn to travel to visit her and kept saying it would cost less for one person to travel then for two people. She knew they were correct but she thought it would be nice for a change if they came to her. 

She grabbed her luggage and headed out the airport. She tried to haul for a taxi but none would just take one passenger and Melinda refused to show random strangers who happened to be riding in the taxi with her, her parent’s house. It was only polite. After 5 minutes of trying, she finally found a taxi that was willing to take only one passenger.

The drive was nice. After just driving on a long road and not seeing any humans, it was nice to finally get to the community area where people lived and sometimes went to school. Melinda noticed how refreshing it was to see kids playing in their front yards with one another occasionally joined by their pets. 

She sighed wishing that she had that kind of freedom as a child. She slowly rolled down the window and let her hair catch the breeze. She felt so relaxed and at such ease that when the car stopped at her destination, she didn’t know what to do. She just sat there thinking about the ride. As if nothing else better than that ever existed..

\---------------

Grant stood at the doorway, reluctant to enter. “Where’s Dr. May?” He demanded, glaring at Phil. “She’s not here.” Phil responded typing notes into Melinda’s file. “I’m not blind, I know she’s not here. Where is she?” He didn’t move. “She’s out of town and she’s not coming back for another few days.” Phil sighed rubbing his face between his palms.

“So, your covering for her?” Grant gave a laugh and finally sat down across from Phil. “Well, yes and no.” Phil looked down at his charts, trying to avoid as much eye contact as possible. “Right.” Grant looked down at the floor then his eyes wandered all around the room until Phil called him back to reality. 

“There’s one part of your file that Melinda didn’t finish. Can you help with that?” Phil asked knowing Grant would say no and walk out on him. But to his surprise, Grant said yes. “What’s it about?” He asked, fixing his posture. “She never filled in who was on shift when you were arrested. Or who arrested you.” Phil looked up at Grant, waiting for answers. 

Grant stared at him for a while before starting to fill in the missing information. “I’m gonna die soon so mine as well tell someone.” Grant mumbled to himself, looking down at the floor again. Phil sat there trying to comprehend what Grant meant by dying soon, while waiting for a proper answer. 

“The first cop who ever handcuffed me, was my father.” He stopped. “On the days when I can’t remember his face,” Grant pauses and looks at the floor before continuing. “It becomes clear that he wants nothing to do with me or my life. I’ll never forgive him. He’ll never forgive me. I’m a monster and I’ve accepted that.” The word monster slips out of Grant's lips like a breath of fresh air. Phil sat there shocked. He didn’t know what to say. 

Grant looked at Phil one final time before walking over to the door. “Your session is over. Doc.” Grant smirked letting himself out the door, leaving Phil alone in Melinda’s office. Phil sighed wondering to himself, how long Melinda would be gone and how much longer would he have to deal with Grant. He glanced over at the clock in silence, only to be interpreted by Maria who marched in the room followed by Natasha. 

“My turn.” She set her notes down on the table and shooed Phil out of the room, closing the door and leaving her and Natasha alone together.

\---------------

Melinda thanked the driver and began walking towards her parent’s navy blue and white 2 story house. As she passed through the front law she took note to ask about her mother's daisy’s that were currently dying before her eyes. With every step, the lighter she became, leaving memories of the troubles that her patients dealt. 

She continued walking until she reached the steps. Melinda closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she reminded herself of why she was here and that everything was under control back at work. She didn’t have to worry. Melinda opened her eyes and looked down at her keys and proceeded to unlock the door. It was nice having the clicking of the locks echo through the wind only to be interrupted by birds chirping in the distance.. 

As soon as she let herself inside, she pulled off her shoes and shoved them to the side. Melinda walked into the kitchen, expecting to find her mother but she was nowhere to be found. She set her bagged leftover lunch on the kitchen table and headed upstairs to unpack.

Melinda glanced around realizing that nothing really changed. Everything was as she left it when she visited last time.She unzipped her backpack and began to plug in her phone and computer to charge. 

“Qiaolian?! Are you home yet?!” Her mother’s sharp voice called from downstairs. Melinda jumped, dropping her things on the floor and ran down the stairs knowing her mother hated waiting.

“This yours?” Lian asked poking at the oily bag on her countertop, staring at it in disapproval. “Yeah. You know how airports are, they always-” Melinda began. “You know better. You need to eat real food. Not American crap that makes you gain wait.” Her mom said opening the refrigerator, pulling out rice in a container along with some sauces. Melinda gave a small smile and left without a word to use the bathroom.

She marched up the carpeted stairs and walked straight into her bathroom. She closed the door and gazed into the mirror. Staring at her reflection, she noticed that she had gotten less sleep than usual, probably from the plane. She rubbed her eyes and splashed water on her face. She knew she would be up late tonight.

\---------------

Lian stared at her daughter like a hawk as she ate. Bite by bite. “How’s work?” She asked, trying to start a conversation. “Fine.” Lian raised an eyebrow. Melinda sighed while shoveling another bite in her mouth, “I got 2 new patients and made a friend.” Her mother gasped. “What?” Melinda looked up while scraping her bowl. 

“Wǒ nǚ'ér jiāole yīgè péngyǒu?! (My daughter made a friend?!)” Her mother asked, acting shocked. She walked over to Melinda and pulled up a chair. “Tell me more about this, friend you have made.” Melinda smiled at the thought of Phil. “There’s a lot about him. He has these blue eyes and amazing skin complexion.” She stopped in her tracks. 

Her mother was in shock. “What did I tell you about Měiguó nánhái? (American boy’s?) They want unprotected and vulnerable Asian girls like you to fall in love with them so they can have Xìngjiāo (sex) with you.” Lian looked her daughter in the eyes. 

“Bù, wǒ bùyào tā zhèyàng- (No, I don’t want him like that-)” Melinda argued back as she gagged at the thought of her coworkers penis in her private parts. “Dàn zhè shì zhēn de. (But it’s true.)” Her mom gave one last look at her before running off to do her own thing.

Shoving the last spoonful of rice in her mouth, Melinda decided to take a walk around the neighborhood, recalling her wonderful taxi ride. She grabbed her phone from its charging stand and jacket and headed outside.

Melinda made her way out past the front lawn and saw some new kids along with some of the old one’s playing out in their front lawn. She smiled and continued down the street until she hit the end of the road and decided to head back home. She saw a little girl with blonde hair run past her and straight to a narrow alleyway. Melinda felt the urge to follow the girl but she didn’t have the time to. Suddenly a couple more kids rushed past her and went to the alley where the little girl was.

Melinda began to walk away when she heard yelling and screaming. She ran over and saw the little girl sitting in the corner covering her ears while the other kids yelled at her. “Hey! What’s going on?” Melinda asked, trying to sound kind but trying to make the kids know who the boss was. One kid looked up at Melinda and spoke up. 

“We are playing a game.” Melinda looked back at the girl who now had tears streaming down her face. “Sure doesn’t look like a game. You better leave her alone, if not I’ll tell your parents what you are doing and get you into big trouble.” The kids looked fearfully at her before scurrying out of the alley way and down the street.

She took a deep breath and began to head out of the alley way herself when a small voice called out to her. “Thank you.” When she turned around fully, she saw the blonde haired girl standing behind her. She smiled and kneeled down before the little girl. “Your welcome. What’s your name?” 

The little girl seemed to be but at ease when the girl followed her out of the alley. “Robin.” She gripped her backpack harder. “Well Robin, we need to get you home.” Melinda explained to the little girl who now looked terrified of her and began to head back into the alley.

“What’s wrong?” Melinda asked following her back into the alley. “I- I don’t wanna go home.” Melinda didn’t know what to do. “Your parent’s are probably really worried about you.” Melinda protesed, keeping track of the time. “No they are not.’ Robin argued back.

“Why do you say that?” Robin looked her in the eye’s and explained that ever since her sister had passed away, her parents have been acting differently. And that they were never home and always getting drunk at a party. “What’s your sister’s name?” Melinda asked sympathetically, getting ready to comfort the girl. Tears rolled down Robin’s check. “Daisy Johnson.”

\---------------

The door opened and Maria’s face lit up. She instantly ran over to Phil and dragged him out the door. “What am I supposed to do with a teenage girl?” Maria asked as she closed the door slightly behind her. “Why are you asking me? You were a teenage girl too!” He reminded while readjusting his folders. 

“And I blocked the experience from my memory!” Maria blurted out while peaking through the door. Phil rubbed his forehead and gave a sigh. When he was done, he stared back at Maria who stared back at him anxiously. 

“What do you mean by blocking the experience from your memory?” Phil wondered. “Let’s just say, my teen years did not go as planned and can we please get back to the point?” Maria peeked back in the room and saw Natasha walking around the room. “Ask her if she’s been sleeping well.” He sighed opening the door for Maria.

“What else should I ask?” Phil walked over to her and said, “You’re really bad at this kind of stuff if you haven’t noticed. Now I know why Melinda does all the talking. And you do all the notetaking.” He made his way down the hall and turned, leaving Maria to comprehend what he just told her. 

“Seriously?! You're just going to leave me to suffer?!” She yelled down the hall looking for Phil. He was nowhere to be found. She made her way back inside the office and attempted to ask how Natasha was sleeping without making it sound weird. The last half of their session was a fail, in Maria’s words. Oh how she wished Melinda would come back soon.

\---------------

Melinda was no cook, however her mother, was one. A pretty good one in fact. When she got back from her eventful walk, dinner was waiting for her on the table along with a note from her mother who had already eaten and gone out to her sister’s house. Melinda pulled out the chair and began eating the food that was left for her. 

After a good meal Melinda was ready to catch up on some work. She made her way up to her room and grabbed her phone and laptop and hopped into bed. She got comfortable and opened her computer and began to read the files. Halfway through the files, she stopped. What she saw was shocking. 

Someone had filled in the missing part of Grant’s file while she was gone. How? She's been trying for weeks and she got nothing! She slowly picked up her phone and dialed. The phone was picked up on the first ring.

“Hey. How was the first day without me there?” She asked. “Just another day at the office.” Phil replied, sighing out of exhaustion. “So, I noticed that a part in Grant’s file I left blank was filled out. Did you have anything to do with that?” Melinda smirked, hopping it was him who had helped her out. “I may or may not have had something to do with it.” Phil beamed on the other end of the phone proudly. Melinda couldn’t help but smile. “I’ve been at that part for weeks and I couldn’t get anything out of him. What’s your secret? I promise I won’t tell.” She grinned. “A magician never reveals his secrets. And besides, what’s yours? How do you deal with him?” 

Phil leaned back in Melinda’s chair and grabbed a notepad, ready for her secret so he could try it the next day. “Like you said, magicians never reveal their secrets.” He smiled and put the pen down. “Right. How’s your vacation going?” 

“Not really a vacation. I had to help a little girl who was being bullied by other children and get this, her sister’s name is Daisy.” Phil held his breath, waiting for Melinda to explain more. “And her sister, who happens to be named Daisy, is dead.” Melinda heard a bang on the other end of the phone. “Phil?” She called out hoping he was okay.

“I told them not to move. I told them it would destroy her. They didn’t listen. None of them listen. It's my fault. It’s always my fault.” Phil mumbled to himself. “Phil? What’s wrong?” Melinda’s voice called from a thousand miles away.

He grabbed the phone and began. “I told them not to move. I- it’s my fault. It’s my fault she’s gone. They are all gone!” He sobbed into the phone. “Why aren’t you here?!!” He yelled, kicking a chair over. Breathing heavily, he let tears stream down his face. Melinda’s heart hurt. She didn’t like seeing, let alone hearing a person she cared a lot about go through this without anyone by his side. Now more than ever was a time she wished she was back at the office. 

“Phil, listen to me.” Her voice broke on the phone and she muted herself while he continued to sob on the other end. After letting a couple of tears fall from her face, she gathered the courage to talk to Phil. “You did everything you could. We can talk more about Daisy when I get back, but I need you to go home and get some sleep.” She knew it was lame but she didn’t know what else to say to him.

“Goodnight Phil.”

“Goodnight Melinda.”


	8. Tears Of An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi Phil, ignore this message and especially the photo. My parents made me send this to you and we will discuss it later at length but please don’t make comments about how ridiculous I look in this makeup and dress. I already know I look like a clown. Face slap emoji.” Melinda read aloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter. Sorry.

2 Days Before Daisy’s DOD (Day of Death):

“Fix her.” Grant demanded storming into Phil’s office for the second time that week. Phil looked up and sighed. “No.” Grant walked up to him. “Because you can’t or you don’t want to?” Phil got up and walked to the door. Grant didn’t follow. He just stood there, frustrated and annoyed that no one would help his friend.

Sighing, Phil began explaining why he couldn’t help Daisy for what felt like the millionth time. “Because she’ll break again. And then you’ll be back here, in my office, begging me once more to fix something that wasn’t meant to be fixed.” 

Phil wanted to help Daisy, he really did, but he had basically tried everything and nothing worked. “So you don’t want to.” Grant snapped, balling his fists as if he was going to punch Phil in the face. Phil’s eyes were cold and his heart was heavy. “No.”

Present Day:

Grant pulled off his covers and He walked over to the tiny cell window and spotted a small patch of Daisy’s across the field growing along the fence. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. A loud bang interrupted his peace. “Doc’s here!” A guard on the other side yelled. Grant scrambled to make his bed and wash up but before he could turn on the water, the door was pulled open and in came Maria. 

“It’s too early in the morning and I didn’t schedule an appointment.” He blurted out as he rolled up his sleeves. “I know.” She didn’t even look at him and injected a needle into Grant’s arm. He winced and grabbed onto a nearby pillow. “Then, why are you here?” He stopped for a breath while the needle was pulled out. “Melinda called me this morning and asked if I could check on you. She thinks something went wrong while she was away.” Maria began to pack her equipment away and pulled out a pad and paper. “As in?” Grant asked, trying not to be curious but his curiosity got the best of him.

“Have you gotten in any fights in the last 24 hours?” Maria ignored moving on from their old conversation and readying herself to jot down as many notes as possible from the new conversation they were about to have. “What do you consider fights? Arguments? Disagreements? Or attacking another person?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. Maria looked up and sighed. “Why do you have to make this more complicated than it already is?” He looked down at the floor, wondering how he should answer.

“No, I haven’t.” Maria took note of his response then looked back up and saw that Grant was busy staring out the window. He seemed lost for words when she called him back to reality. “Who’s out the window? Trouble?” Maria asked and walked over to take a look herself. She didn’t see anything eye catching or worthy enough to make someone lost for words. “Daisy’s.” 

\---------------

Bright and early the next day, Melinda’s alarm went off at exactly six in the morning. She groaned and suddenly remembered the conversation she had with Phil last night. She crawled out of bed and grabbed her phone from across the room and hopped back in bed. When she saw 2 missed calls from Phil she shot up alarmed. “Shit-” She breathed before calling him back. Melinda glanced out the window as the phone rang. After waiting for a bit and getting lost in her thoughts the phone was picked up.

“Phil, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” Melinda asked, burying her face in her pillow, hoping he was okay. “I- I’m okay…” He began while Melinda sighed in relief. “After our call last night, I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Melinda glanced at the clock and ran her hand through her hair. “Don’t worry. I’m fine..” She began quietly. “I can’t get you out of my head.” He admitted and began to tear up at the thought of Melinda in danger. “It’s still kind of early, you should go back to bed.” Melinda reminded him now, reminded of the time herself. 

“I’m not going in today. I barely got any sleep last night.” Phil rubbed his eyes, making his way to the bathroom. He stared at himself. A man with messy hair and tired eyes stared back at him. “Well at least take a shower and drink a cup of tea. You’ll feel much better.” Melinda advised before climbing out of bed and began to start her shower. “Wait. Sorry. Coffee.” Melinda corrected remembering their night out. “Yeah. And for you a nice cup of tea should do?” He joked. Melinda grinned. “Yes indeed.” He let out a small chuckle and began to make a nice cup of coffee for himself.

A little while later after Melinda took her shower and Phil took his shower and made himself coffee, he called her back. “Well I am happy to report that you were right. After a shower and a cup of coffee later, I feel better than before.” He smiled, making his way to the parking garage of his apartment complex. “Glad to have helped.” Melinda beamed as she dropped her tea bag in her cup and heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Hey. I have to go. I’ll call you when I can.” Melinda quickly hung up the phone feeling as if someone was looking over her shoulders.   
“Who was that?” Melinda whirled around in shock. “Work.” Melinda went to go refill her cup. Lian didn’t seem convinced. “Really? This early?” Her mom walked over to pour her own tea. Melinda sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Someone had a question for me.” She admitted taking a sip of her second cup of tea. She felt a pair of eyes watching her and looked over at the doorway. Her father stood in his night robe with messy hair smiling. 

“Hey Mellie.” May smiled and rushed over to him and gave him a hug. When they let go, her father went to get his tea started while May continued to drink hers. “I didn’t see you yesterday. Everything all right?” Her father sat down next to her. “I had some work to do but you know what today is?” Her mother smiled and headed upstairs. She returned with the festival tickets. Melinda’s face lit up like a child in a toy store. “Festival day?” Her mom nodded. Melinda beamed with happiness and went to hug her parents once again. “When do we leave?” She grabbed her cup and walked it over to the kitchen. “In half-an hour.”

\---------------

Natasha brushed her hands along the brick walls of the inside of the prison. She wandered past the cafeteria and made her way down the hall. She quickly glanced behind her, in fear that someone was watching her. She tugged at her shirt sleeves and moved further along the hall when she heard muffled voices. She hid around the corner and listened in on the conversation being held.

“The world stopped breathing that night,” Grant revealed, eyes glued to the floor. “Daisy was a girl who never felt like she belonged anywhere or with anyone. She had been tossed around from one foster home to another until one night, right before she would be moved to another home, she ran away.” Maria didn’t dare to breathe. She just listened and let him do all the talking. “She became depressed and began having suicidal thoughts. The more people rejected her, the darker those thoughts became.” 

Grant wanted to stop talking but it was too late. The face of the now dead girl he loved was scattered everywhere and he couldn't ignore it. “I told her to stop pushing people away.” He whispered while walking over to the window as tears filled his eyes. “For what felt like years I begged Dr. Coulson to help her. He refused! You hear me! He refused! He hated her! He is a coward!” Grant punched his hand deep into the bed and let a few tears fall from his eyes. 

“The day before she died, I told her if you want to save me, save yourself.” He was breathing heavily, about to break. “And maybe in the end, I was meant to be alone. Were her last words.” Grant was on the verge of tears but he was trying to hold them in for Maria’s sake. His vision turned blurry, his eyes burned.

“Is that what you wrote on the wall?” She pointed to the wall beside Grant’s bed. He slowly turned around and gave a small nod. “Daisy would always ask me this question, wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything?” He sat down on the bed, gripping the bed sheets.  
“What was your answer?” Maria continued to stare out the window. “I would look her in the eyes and say yes, it was beautiful. But then, she would give me this sad look saying, not anymore right?” 

When Maria thought it was the end of the story, she got up to leave, taking in the story. Grant’s eyes followed Maria as she slowly walked out of the room and he realized that he couldn’t hold the burning tears in anymore. The tears silently poured out of his eyes while his lips trembled. 

Tears rolled down Natasha’s face. She quickly rubbed them away while trembling. Hearing footsteps coming down the hall, she gave one fearful look back at the cell before running back down the hall to where she was supposed to be, hoping no one saw her eavesdropping on the conversation.

\---------------

Once the car was properly parked in the parking lot Melinda grabbed her bag and headed out to join her parents who were already on line at the entrance. As she made her way through the crowd she spotted someone who looked oddly a lot like Phil. She began walking over to him when suddenly she felt her phone go off in her pocket. She quickly grabbed the phone and picked it up. “Where are you? Line is moving.” Her dad asked over the phone. “Coming.” She hung up and looked back at the man who looked a lot like Phil, he was gone. Melinda shoved her phone back in her pocket and took off searching for her parents. 

When she finally found them they handed her a map and asked her where she wanted to go first. “The parade starts at 5pm. It’s an hour long but when it's done we can grab dinner.” Her mother explained pointing to the map. “We should work our way in. Explore the crafts and shops then take a break for lunch and then continue on.” Melinda suggested. Her parents agreed and handed her a flyer.

“Dress up and wear traditional clothing. Photo fees are ten dollars…” Melinda looked up at them. “No. I am not dressing up in a dress to take photos.” She handed them back the flyer. “It would be a good souvenir.” Her father explained, pointing to the photo.“Yeah, you could send it to your American boyfriend.” Her mom took her by the arm and dragged her to the shop. “Wait I-” Melinda sighed. This would be a very long day. 

\---------------

“Well, you're finished.” The lady who was doing Melinda’s makeup stood and moved away from the mirror. Melinda opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. “Let's take a photo!” Her dad began pulling out Melinda’s phone while she was dragged to a background filled with fake trees and sky’s. Melinda stood there dumbly while her father snapped a photo of her and her mom then just her. “Send it to him!” Her mother encouraged with wide eyes handing back her phone. 

Melinda fumbled with her phone. She smiled weakly and began to open up her phone. “It's sent.” Her parents didn’t look convinced. “What was the caption?” Her mother crossed her arms. “Hi Phil, ignore this message and especially the photo. My parents made me send this to you and we will discuss it later at length but please don’t make comments about how ridiculous I look in this makeup and dress. I already know I look like a clown. Face slap emoji.” Melinda read aloud. 

She got up and began to march out the front door when she missed the first step and tripped. “Not even 10 minutes in and you are already going to hurt yourself.” Her mother reminded her to help her up. “I can’t even see!” She groaned. The rest of the morning up until lunch was filled with photos, money, and Melinda tripping on her dress multiple times, embarrassing herself in public. On her fourth time tripping she decided, enough was enough. 

She turned to her mother and explained, “I’m going to the bathroom to take this off. It’s too hot and I can’t walk.” Her mother whipped out her phone and took a selfie with her daughter in the dress. “You know how to take selfies?” Melinda smiled. “Yes. I know a lot of things. If you insist on taking off this beautiful dress...give it back to me and I’ll return it.” 

A happy Melinda May made her way into the bathroom stall before realizing that her dress was caught on something. “Oh god.” Melinda breathed before reaching her hand to examine the issue. While she was attempting to untangle and undress herself she felt a pull along her waist. She looked up alarmed. Her eyes moved to the side and she saw what had happened. Her dress was snagged and caused a rip that was growing larger by the second. The more she fussed to try and free herself the more the dress ripped. After another five minutes of fussing around she finally was free and redressed herself in the old clothing she was wearing and quickly left the bathroom. 

When Melinda emerged from the bathroom with the dress in hand, as she handed the ripped dress to her mom, her face went from neutral to confused to shocked. “How- What happened to the dress?!” She called after Melinda who was already making her way to a nearby store. “The dress wasn’t built to last.” Melinda answered back, picking up a pin, taking a photo of it and sending it to Phil with the caption, “For you.” She smiled once she sent the message.

The rest of the night was relaxing and Melinda was happy that her mother didn’t mention what happened to the dress. Melinda wondered if the shop took the dress back or if they threw it away. To her surprise when she got in the car, she got her answer. The dress was stuffed in the back seat of her car as if waiting for an apology from her. “Sorry I ripped you?”

\---------------

“Is it true what Grant said?” Natasha asked. Phil looked up from his computer and invited her inside. “What did you guys talk about?” Phil asked, grabbing a pad and pen. “We weren’t talking. I-” She stopped in her tracks. She didn’t want to get into any trouble. She looked nervously around the room. “Natasha?” Phil whispered seeing her worried eyes. Natasha knew there was no denying the truth. All she could do was face it, head on. 

“Why couldn’t you save her?” She blurted out sadly. There was no turning back. “Who?” Phil whispered quietly, looking sympathetically at her. She knew it wasn’t her business to ask but she had to. “Daisy.” Natasha held her breath waiting to be yelled at for asking such a question. Phil hesitated but before he could speak, Natasha who had tears in her eyes asked a question Phil would never forget. 

“Will I end up like her?”


	9. First Day Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melinda is back. However she ends up having mixed feelings about her return.

“Good to have you back.” Fury held the door open as Melinda stepped inside his office. “Good to be back.” Melinda smiled and took a seat in front of his desk while he made his way to the other side of the desk. “I hate to ruin your mood first thing in the morning but, while you were away I received a complaint about you.” Melinda’s face went dark. “Who wrote it?” She managed to ask until she realized who it was. “It was anonymous.” He replied and got up and pulled out the report. “What was the complaint about?” She asked tilting her head right to get a better view of the document. 

“Doctor May is showing repeated favoritism towards her patient. She has a lack of respect for what I have to say to her and makes every conversation we have aggressive and uncomfortable. Along with that she is not giving the proper treatments to her favored patient and leaves her other patients to fend for themselves when they need her most.” He read aloud. Melinda opened her mouth to speak but there was more to the complaint. “She has threatened me and my family multiple times and I quote, “he signed up to raise you. To change you and make you and your wife better people. And that’s what you should take away from the story.” That statement makes me sick and I wonder who she thinks is by sticking her nose in my family's business.” Fury looked up from the page looking at Melinda who sat there processing every word that came out of his mouth. 

Had she gone too far? Was this how she would end up losing her job? Was this the end for her? “I can tell you know who wrote this.” Fury commented slowly walking over to her. Melinda stood up as if getting ready to fight. Fury looked sympathetically at Melinda who had her teeth clenched and fists balled. “Yeah. I do. Officer Ward wrote this.”

“Remember, he’s not just an officer but he is also the kids father.” Fury explained to Melinda as he handed over the paper with the complaint written on it. She scanned the page as if studying it for a test. “I know but, as his doctor, there is still more we need to take care of. Abuse, wounds, the list goes on.”Melinda began. “This is only the tip of the iceberg.” She mumbled to herself “If this makes you feel any better, I am having a meeting with him later today. I can bring up the complaint and see what he says.” Fury suggested to her as she handed back the paper.

“Sure. See what he says. But please don’t bench me from this. I can’t just sit by and not help. It is my job to help.” She explained. “Melinda. I appreciate your dedication but you should let this one slide. He is a man with power and is not afraid to use it. ” He explained escorting her out. “I’ll see what I can do.” He said kindly as Melinda rushed down the hall and headed to her office. 

\---------------

The moment Melinda stepped foot in her office, she dropped her stuff on her desk and ran to get her notes from the cabinet. While busy shuffling pages around, her eyes darted to the clock, it was already 10 in the morning, her first patient would be here any moment now. She heard the door open and close but didn’t hear anyone come inside until she stood up and saw Natasha standing in front of her. “Hey.” Melinda smiled inviting her to sit on the examination table. 

Natasha didn’t look at Melinda while she was examining her. She either looked down at the floor or stared at one thing. “So, according to these notes written by Maria while I was gone, you’ve been having trouble sleeping and you had one panic attack in your cell. Is that correct?” Melinda asked looking up from the page. Natasha nodded in response.

“Have you ever had sleeping trouble in the past?” Melinda asked, getting ready to take notes down. “Yes. Nightmares and Insomnia. Also I don’t really sleep. I was told that by a person who- I thought cared for me. She explained that I was so tense and that I would never relax at night. I was always awake and alert.” She looked over at Melinda and then back at the floor. 

“Have you gotten any professional help?” 

“No.”

“Have you ever been on sleeping meds?”

‘I don’t think so.” 

“I am going to set up a dosage. They will be ready to use in a few days.”

Natasha was ready to leave when Melinda stopped her. “What are your nightmares usually about?” Natasha didn’t know where or how to start. “Well- um- they usually involve me and one to two other people I know. And they can get pretty dark.” She paused. “But. A lot of them involve me and my brother and other people.” Melinda got curious. “What kind of other people?” Natasha balled up her fist. “Bad people.” Melinda wanted to ask another question but Natasha had already left the room and was making her way down the hall. Next time, she figured.

\---------------

Melinda blew out a puff of air out and rubbed her face in her hands out of exhaustion from the busy morning. When she moved her hands away from her face, a white gift bag was placed in front of her. She looked up in shock and saw Phil and Maria peering down at her. She smiled and hugged both of them. “Glad your back.” Maria smiled and sat across from Melinda. “Yeah. It’s not like I was away for really long.” She agreed while she poked at the white bag. “Go ahead. Open it.” Phil encouraged. What she saw was beyond words.

A creature with kawaii eyes was staring back at her. She blinked once before pulling out the item. Her hand felt the softness of the creature and when she finally pulled out everything she saw the most adorable and fluffiest panda plush she had ever seen was sitting on the table before her. And, what was even cuter was that the panda was wearing a shirt! Melinda loved panda’s with clothing because it makes them seem cuter than they really are.

“PM?” She read the shirt aloud. She then heard giggles of laughter and looked over at Maria who was now laughing uncontrollably. “I told you she would get the wrong message!” Maria continued to howl with laughter. Phil’s face turned red instantly. “What the hell does PM stand for?” She thought about it for a second and it finally hit her. 

Phil let out a small scream before rushing over to explain the misunderstanding. He grabbed the panda off the table and pointed to each letter on the shirt and began explaining the misunderstanding. “No! No! It’s panda Ming.” He explained quickly trying not to turn even more embarrassed than he already was. “The panda’s name is Ming! Panda Ming! Why? What did you think it meant?” He was blushing even more than before. “Me and...you?” Melinda admitted.“Yeah...that too.” Phil gave a weak smile and handed Melinda back the panda. 

“That was the highlight of my day! You two are hilarious!” Maria exclaimed, still recovering from her scene. “Haha very funny. But either way. Thank you for this panda.” Melinda placed the panda back in the bag and set the bag on the ground beside her. “Oh also. It was Maria’s idea.” Melinda looked up. “The shirt. The panda was mine.” Melinda smirked. “Got it. Thank you to you both, really appreciate the honesty and thought process that went into this gift.” Maria swallowed another bite of her sandwich in her mouth before asking Melinda how her trip was.

“It was...interesting. More chaos than I thought. How about you guys? Anything interesting or important happened while I was gone?” She took a sip of her tea and looked at them both. “Maria doesn’t know how to talk to a teenage girl.” Phil began to giggle. “She was struggling so hard. When she was done with her session she looked like she had just peed herself.” He concluded proudly trying his hardest not to laugh. “Hmmm I see.” Melinda looked over at her friend who looked ready to strike back. 

“Hey! I do know how to talk to a teenage girl. I was one once. And it’s not like you have any experience yourself Phil. It’s not like you were one once.” She smirked. “Are you seeing this one? Using my own words against me.” Phil sighed loudly and took a sip of coffee. “I can neither deny or confirm that those are your words she is using against you.” While Phil and Maria continued chatting, Melinda carefully tilted her head around the room to make sure he who must not be named wasn’t in the room with them. Just to be safe. 

“Alright shush both of you. We all have our flaws but right now, I need your help.” She interrupted, causing Phil and Maria to stop talking and turn their heads to look at her. “Yes? What's wrong?” Maria began. Melinda sighed before explaining. “Someone filed a complaint about me.” She began ever so slowly.There was a lot to the note but the memo I got was that the person does not like me one bit.” Melinda looked at Phil and he looked at Maria.

“So we need to find out who wrote the complaint?” Maria asked. “Not exactly. By the note I can already tell who wrote it. But before I tell you who let me explain.” Melinda looked at Maria and started to explain Grant’s issue when Maria interrupted saying, “I know. Phil told me.” Melinda stopped talking and looked at Phil. “You did?” He blushed. “Yeah, was I supposed to keep this between us?” Maria’s eyes were wide. “No. I was planning on telling her eventually.” She shrugged and continued. When she was done both Phil and Maria were in shock. So much hate towards one person made them question how people truly feel about another person. 

“That is all.” Melinda sighed taking her final sips of tea. “How do we help?” Phil asked getting up and walking, signaling Melinda and Maria to walk with him. Melinda paused and turned around to face both of them. “To be honest.” She sighed. “I’ve never been complained about. I don't even know what to do. How to respond. What course of action to take. Nothing. That’s why I’m asking you guys.” Melinda explained honestly. “Well. I guess you should think back to the event. See what provoked him to write the note.” Phil suggested shrugging and turning down the hall. “Sure. I’ll try. Thanks.” She gave a small smile before disappearing down her hallway leaving Phil and Maria together. 

“She needs to be careful. Since the note was written anonymously, she can’t go around accusing people. ” Maria explained quietly and stopped to think. “Random question that has nothing to do with this but, what happened to Clint?” She asked curiously. “He left. He is a good man and doesn’t think this is the right place for him to be. It was nice to know him for the time that he was here though.” When Maria seemed to get to her stop, she said her goodbyes and left him alone in the hall. He sighed and truly hoped Melinda would be careful. He’d only known her for a while but he could tell she has a fighting spirit. 

\---------------

Melinda felt multiple pairs of eyes following down the hall but she knew that was normal because after all, she was working in a prison. She heard shouting coming from one end of the wing and more from another. She shook her head and turned one final corner and almost bumped into another person passing by. “Sorry…”The figure apologized and then stopped to see who he had bumped into. He tilted his head up to the light and saw Melinda’s face a few inches away from his. 

“How did your meeting with the boss go?” Melinda asked once she saw Officer Ward's uncomfortable face. He began moving down the hall, sighing trying not to start a conversation with her but he couldn’t. “It was,” He cleared his throat. “Questionable.” Melinda gave a small smirk. “And why is that?” He shifted away but Melinda cornered him. “I know it was you who filed it.” She blurted out.

“You are mistaken. I don’t complain.”

“Really? I read the document.”

“So? What does that prove? It was written anonymously.”

“Well given the fact that you just admitted that it was written anonymously gives me the hint that you wrote it. What do you think?” 

“You really wanna know what I think?” 

Melinda nodded, holding her breath.

I think that your compassion and heart are your weakness.” He paused. “I also think, why are you trying to protect a kid from his own father? I did nothing to him. He has no reason to be here where people treat him like a king. Showering him with sunshine and daisies and telling him it will be alright.” He stopped again but looked down at the floor giving Melinda an opportunity to cut in.

“First off, I am not taking him away from you. Second you did do something to him. More than one and we both know it so don’t try to hide it. And finally, you could use a large dosage of compassion and heart because you seem to be lacking that quality severely.” Melinda stopped looking at his angered face and continued on. “As his doctor he needs to stay here. For medical reasons.” Officer Ward sighed and tried to speak but didn’t know what to say. “If you really care for your son and want what's best for him, keep him here.” 

That was it. Officer Ward had enough. “Listen to me carefully. Very carefully.” He hissed. “If you try to mess with my family one more time or dishonor me in any way, shape or form, I will have you fired. Here me? I will tell the boss what kind of person you are.” He moved his mouth really close to her ear and began whispering. “And you won’t like what I have to say.” 

He gave one final look at Melinda before leaving her alone in the hallway to think about what he had just told her. She looked around the hall, tears slowly gathering. “I went too far…” She whispered, pressing her back to the wall and sliding downwards, making her butt land on the cold floor. She buried her head in her legs and let out a few tears trickle down her face before she rubbed them away. Angry and annoyed she had to do something. Fast.

\---------------

Melinda glanced at the clock and sighed reading the time aloud. “5:30” She leaned back in her chair wishing that time would move faster. She wanted to just go home and put all her troubles away for the night. She just wanted to curl up on the couch of her living room with her favorite tea and movie and just relax. All she wanted was a break from all this madness. She was so sick and tired of Officer Ward threatening her because she was doing the right thing. She didn’t understand what the big deal was. She gave one look at the clock before returning back to her work. 

“Do- do you know about Daisy?” Natasha’s voice barely rose above a whisper. Once the question left her mouth, Natasha slowly began to move towards the door,, ready to make a run for it. Melinda stopped writing and froze.

Natasha was already across the room when Melinda looked up from her notes. “Oh. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you for asking questions.” Melinda realized what her response had done. It gave Natasha the wrong signal and she probably thought she would get really angry at her. The girl stood there blankly. Melinda sighed. “I wish I did. I only know a small amount of stuff because she really wasn’t my patient. I only saw her when she first came in and only two times after that.” She explained pulling up a chair for herself.

Natasha walked over to Melinda and sat down in front of her. “I didn’t know what happened. But now I do. Daisy was so sad, scared and alone. No one would help her. Not even Doctor Coulson.” She revealed sadly looking at the floor. “Grant begged him to help her but he refused.” She looked at Melinda who was staring at her. 

“If I ever-” She stopped. She was afraid to speak. “If I ever end up like Daisy. Alone, sad, and scared...will you help me?” That last part Melinda could barely hear. Most days Natasha barely spoke but when she did it was low and quiet. 

Melinda wanted to show her that there's always someone waiting with open hands who'll reach out and stop the pain. And more importantly, she hoped Natasha would know it’s her who would be there.“Yes. I will help you.” Natasha gave a small smile. However Melinda had a new question. Who told Natasha the story? Melinda had been here longer than Natasha and she didn’t know the whole story herself. 

“Just one question though, who told you the story?” Natasha began to tear up. Her eyes filled with guilt making Melinda grow confused. “I’m sorry I eavesdropped. I didn’t mean to, I swear. I was just passing by and I- I’m sorry. Please don’t- tell.” Natasha buried her face in her arms. Melinda was speechless. She didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t angry but she was confused about why she felt so ashamed and was so apologetic. Melinda got out of her chair and shifted next to Natasha on the floor. “I’m not angry. And I won’t tell but…” A silence arose as Melinda stayed silent thinking of the right words to say.

“I just want you to know that you're not alone. My office, this is a safe place. You can tell me anything you want. Remember that.” Natasha looked up at Melinda and smiled gratefully. 

“You’re always looking out for me.”

“Somebody’s got to.”


	10. The Fire’s Out But Still It Burns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She felt herself breathing faster and faster while the walls around her caved inward more and more. Was she going to die? Right here? Right now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than usual. Enjoy!

Natasha turned around the corner and ended up crashing into another figure sending her down to the floor. The figure let out a “Hey! Watch it!” and looked down at Natasha who was on the floor. Looking up, Natasha saw another woman with tattoos who was much bigger than she was. Her face was painted with a smirk and Natasha’s ears caught on a load of laughter but before she could get up, the woman with the tattoo pushed her onto the floor and got on top of her, pinning her down to the ground. 

She tried to wiggle free but the woman was too heavy. “Help!!” She cried out with her mind flashing to when one her foster dad sat on top of her. She felt herself breathing faster and faster while the walls around her caved inward more and more. Was she going to die? Right here? Right now? 

“Don’t bother screaming for help because those guards don’t care. Mommy and daddy won’t come running to save you. They can’t because you screwed up. You messed up once and now they never forgive you.” The girl hissed in Natasha’s ear. Natasha shut her eyes, trying to block out whatever was going to happen next.

“No one will miss you little girl.” Punch. “You hear me!” Punch. “They’ll never forgive you!” Punch. “You don’t deserve to live! So mine as well die.” Punch. Suddenly, the girl stopped. Just when Natasha thought she was done beating the life out of her a different pair of hands grabbed her and pulled the woman on top of her off. “Put 'em in the rooms. Watch them. Taking this one to medical.” Someone yelled out. While being dragged away from the scene, the hallway became blurry and voices became quieter and quieter until everything went dark.

\---------------

“Natasha. Honey. Wake up.” Someone whispered. Natasha turned her head but couldn’t see anything and when she tried to sit up she could barely pull her head up. When she finally gathered enough strength to sit up, she looked around the room still dizzy and in pain.“What- happened?” She asked slowly. Maria sighed and looked at her. “You were beat up in a fight.” Natasha panicked and began to move off the table when she felt something tug her back. “Your levels are being monitored so you are hooked up.” Maria calmly explained beginning to tend to her wounds. 

Though the sight of the ruined flesh made Maria’s stomach turn, she stitched the wounds assiduously while trying to comfort the injured girl with meaningless soothing words. When she was done she cut off the end of the bandage and wrapped it tightly around making sure it stayed. After a long silence Maria had the courage to ask the girl what had happened. Natasha spent a long time thinking before she answered.

“I don’t know,” She began slowly. “But what I do know is that I should've fought back and defended myself. I’ve done it before. Why didn't I do it again? What’s wrong with me?” Natasha sobbed. Maria didn’t say anything, all she did was hand a new long sleeve shirt to the girl and helped her put it on. Before letting the girl go she wanted to ask one final question. “Are you okay?” The girl looked up with her bruised face and bandaged arm. “Am I supposed to be okay?” She asked. Maria looked down at the floor looking for an answer. “No. I want you to be safe so that when your time is up and you can leave, you are alive and well.” Maria opened the door for Natasha and when she left, she slowly shut the door and let out a sigh. 

\---------------

“Open up! Doc’s here!” Someone yelled from the other side of the door. Grant jolted awake and ran to get the door. “What are you doing here?” He asked as she moved past him with saddened eyes. “I have to tell you something.” She whispered and motioned for him to sit down. Once he sat, she began. 

“Do you remember about a week ago when a guard asked for a word with me?” He nodded. “It was my dad.” Grant mumbled. “He has plans to transfer you to a different prison by the end of the month.” Melinda looked as Grant as he showed no signs of emotion. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, biting her lip. “Don’t waste your time on a lost cause.” Grant sighed and walked out to the cafeteria leaving Melinda alone in his room. She watched him wander around the cafeteria as if lost. He found a seat at an empty table and slowly put his head down. Melinda thought about walking over but she thought it was best for him to be left alone. 

\---------------  
The darkness caving into his eyes gave Grant comfort that he was finally alone. He let out a sigh and burning tears ran down his cheeks. He thought about what he did to deserve this and let out another sigh. He thought about all the times he lied and hurt his family then his mind wandered to Daisy and how he could’ve saved her from fate. He didn’t know where he was headed, but he knew he was headed somewhere dark. He heard a noise, as if someone was moving to sit next to him, watching his every move. He didn’t dare look up at whoever was next to him. He tried to wipe away the tears and control his breathing. He slowly picked his head up and saw a girl sitting next to him. 

The girl had red hair and had cuts and bruises. She wasn’t smiling or afraid. In fact, she had no emotions. He stared at her and she stared at him back. “What do you want?” He growled. She didn’t say anything. She just sat there. “If you're not here to fight or beat the hell out of me then leave me alone.” He turned his head away from her and rolled his eyes. “Why were you crying?” She asked half whispering. Grant didn’t look in her direction. “What? I’m not allowed to cry? Geez.” He snapped, blowing out a huff of air. 

“No, I-I didn’t mean too. I’m sorry.” The girl apologized and stopped. Grant’s eyes softened after hearing how apologetic the girl was towards him. He wondered why as he turned around to face her. “It’s just, I didn’t want to offend you. You are allowed to cry.” She began weakly. “You have a name?” He questioned now sitting up completely. “Natasha.” She answered and looked nervously around the room. “Okay, I’m Grant.” He took note on how nervous she was and tried not to scare her off. 

“Who are you looking for?” He asked, trying to help. She turned her head in his direction and gave a quick, “no one.” before turning her head in another direction. Grant heard the sound of laughter from a few tables away and saw a group of women who were walking towards them. “Ready for round two?” The woman standing in front of Natasha asked. She didn’t look up. “Look at her. So afraid.” Another woman snickered. “Is your boyfriend finally going to come to your rescue? Your knight in shining armor!” They mocked and laughed. Natasha still didn’t move. She only looked up a little bit and then quickly looked back down. 

“Hey!” Grant yelled out. They stopped laughing and turned to him. “Leave her alone!” He roared. “Oh, lucky you. You have someone who is willing to fight for a screw-up!” Natasha looked up and balled her fists. She then proceeded to leap out of her seat and tackle the other woman to the ground. She began punching the woman in the face causing everyone to yell frantically and guards sprang into action trying to break up the fight. 

“Natasha!!” Grant called out. He tried to grab her off of the other woman before it was too late but ended up getting kicked in the face.Two guards came running over and took Natasha off of the woman and another two came running in to take him and the other woman away. The last few guards left were the ones trying to stop the crowds of prisoners who had wanted the fight to go on longer. 

In the end, no one won leaving it open for a third round but Grant highly doubted that Natasha would be back for more. And even if a third round did decide to emerge, he wouldn’t be there to witness it because he would be gone. 

\---------------

A soft knock came from outside of Melinda’s door. It was 8:20 at night and it had been hours since she told Grant about the transfer and was hesitant about continuing to talk about it. But, to her surprise, it wasn’t Grant. It was Phil. “Is this a good time?” He whispered. “Yes. It’s a perfect time.” She smiled and invited him inside her office. He opened his mouth ready to speak but was interrupted by Melinda. 

“Was it a good idea to have told him about the transfer?” She questioned walking over to her desk. “Well, it depends.” Phil sighed, taking a seat in a chair. “What do you mean?” Melinda asked, stacking her papers together. “Well, it could be used against you. I mean, he already called you out for favoritism.” He replied. Melinda turned to look at him before shoving her belongings into her bag. 

“So you are saying I shouldn’t have told him?” She walked over to him. “Well, yes and no. Yes is so that he knows what to expect and why. No, because you would just be adding more fuel to the fire and we don’t want that now do we?” He explained getting up. Since Melinda didn’t answer and was already heading for the door, he took this as an opportunity to ask the question he had been wanting to for weeks.

“So. I’ve been thinking, for weeks actually,” Melinda turned around. “Instead of going out for coffee again, maybe we could try something else.” He suggested, hoping she would say yes. Melinda hesitated for a minute. “What exactly do you have in mind?” He smiled happily. “Dinner at my place. We can make dinner, watch movies and talk about-how our day truly went.” Phil gushed.

“I’d like that.”


	11. Here’s Hoping (that Melinda does not burn down Phil’s apartment)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This should be easy. A simple meal of Garlic bread and noodles! What could go wrong?” Melinda mumbled reassuringly to herself. Little did she know, things were about to go horribly wrong.

Phil’s apartment was not the biggest apartment Melinda has been inside, but it also wasn’t the smallest. It was comfortable and somewhat cozy. Melinda placed her stuff in the closet as Phil went and turned on the lights. “What do you think?” He called from another room. Melinda walked into what she assumed was his living room and gave a small smirk at what she saw near his TV. 

“Oh. Those.” Phil spoke standing behind her. “Yeah, those.” She pointed to the multiple copies of Captain America The First Avenger. “I was planning to give those as gifts. There was a sale.” He added, turning slightly red. Her gaze moved down to the floor to his circle shaped American flag carpet. “Nice carpet.” She commented. “Oh. Thanks. It was a gift.” 

Melinda made her way over to his bedroom. She took note of the medium sized bed and the decorative pillows nearby that were designed with red, white and blue stars. “Let me guess, these were gifts too?” She teased. “Actually no. I bought them myself. For my birthday one year.” Phil explained walking over. “Technically they are a gift. From you to you.” Melinda shrugged and made her way past the bathroom and back out into the area they arrived in. 

\---------------

“Do you have experience with the art of dinner making?” He asked beginning to make his way to the kitchen. “Unless you count seeing the food and devouring the dish, leaving nothing behind,” She paused to think. “Nope.” He laughed and assigned her to make garlic bread while he proceeded to boil up some water for the pasta. 

Melinda began slicing the bread and then moved over to melt the butter he had taken out. “This should be easy. A simple meal of Garlic bread and noodles! What could go wrong?” Melinda mumbled reassuringly to herself. Little did she know, things were about to go horribly wrong.   
.   
Phil began tossing dried noodles into the boiling water while Melinda began chopping in the garlic and tossing it into the melted butter. “So far so good.” She mumbled once again to herself. Once she was done applying the butter and oregano, she shoved them on a plate and tossed them into the oven at 350 degrees and walked over to the sink to wash her hands. Phil, on the other hand, was struggling to open the sauce but finally got it open after asking for help from Melinda. 

When they were at the point of waiting, they decided to take a rest on the couch for a few minutes before returning to cook. “This is nice. You. Me. Making dinner. No pressure whatsoever.” Phil suddenly spoke. “Yeah.” Melinda agreed, taking in her surroundings. “Maybe one day, you could come over to my place and we could hang out.” Melinda offered up. “Sure. That would be nice.” He takes a breath in and winced. 

Something smelled burnt or over cooked. Phil turned his head towards the oven and saw puffs of smoke around it. They rushed over with hot mits and tried their best to save what was left of the Garlic bread. “Just to be on the safe side. I’ll try it.” Phil volunteered keeping positive that their dinner wouldn’t end in disaster.

Phil broke off a piece to try. When he was done chewing he asked what setting Melinda had put. He covered his face after hearing her response. “Well how was I supposed to know that there is a difference between toasting and baking when it comes to cooking?!” Melinda pointed out.

“You always read all the steps on the menu! Always!” Phil yelled while walking over to the stove to check on his noodles. “The noodles!!” He yelled and began moving frantically, trying to save the noodles. Melinda caught sight of the struggling man and giggled. Feeling quite embarrassed by his creation, he placed it on the table next to Melinda’s sad attempt to make garlic bread. He stood in front of their dishes.“You had one job.” Melinda walked up behind him.

“What now?” They asked one another while staring at their burnt and over cooked dishes sitting on the table. “Now, we eat take out.” Phil replied, pulling out his phone. Melinda sighed and mumbled to herself. “So much for a homemade meal.” 

\---------------  
Once they were done eating, Phil brought their dishes to the garbage while Melinda cleaned the table. “Well that was disastrous.” Melinda sighed and plopped down on the couch next to Phil. “Agreed.” He looked over at her. “All right. Enough food talk. Time for work talk.” Melinda laughed. “You go first.” Phil got comfortable on the couch and waited for Melinda to share. “Honestly. I don’t know where to begin.” She rubbed her head. “Well, you left off with the transfer. Start there.” He suggested. 

“Do you think it was a good idea?” 

“Oh no. This again?” 

“I can’t get it out of my head. After I told him, he just walked off as if it was no big deal. Did he take it the wrong way? Or did I say it the wrong way? Or-” 

“I don’t think it's you. People process information differently. Give him some time and he might come around asking.”

“But what if he doesn't?”

“I think you're overthinking this whole situation.”

“You are a great help.” 

She turned her head to look at him. He was looking down on his phone scrolling around and finally looked up. 

“Okay. Before we talk about my day, which, by the way, was really boring. Can we discuss this?” Phil pulled up her text message that her mom made her send to him. 

“As the caption reads.” 

“I doubt that.”

“Okay. Fine. I was wearing that for the day and I ripped it.”

“How is that even possible?”

“The dress wasn’t built to last.”

“What did your mom say?”

“She seemed to take it okay when I handed it back to her after I ripped it. All though, I did end up finding the dress in the backseat of the car along with the other stuff my parents bought.” 

He laughed and ran to grab the remote. 

“Movie?”

She smiled. 

For the next 1 hour and 30 minutes they sat huddled together watching Mulan and when they were done they spent the next 2 hours and 5 minutes watching Captain America, The First Avenger at Phil’s request. As the end credits rolled onto the screen Melinda turned to Phil.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” 

He smiled.

“I did too.” 

“Maybe we could do this again at my place? Well minus the disastrous dinner.”

“I’d like that.” 

Melinda got off the couch and gathered her stuff. She strapped her bag around her shoulder and slipped her shoes on. “Thank you for inviting me over.” She said opening the door and beginning to walk out. “Wait.”

She turned around. He looked at her. Her beautiful eyes that were as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. Her medium length straight black hair that was ever so soft. His gaze moved down to her heart. He thought of how she instantly fought back when she learned Grant was leaving. She had a heart of gold. He didn’t want to deny the truth that everything was perfect about her.

His heart was racing so fast he barely had time to think. Should he kiss her? What would she say? How would she react? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? He knew he was standing there like a deer caught in headlights. “Yes?” She whispered trying to be as quiet as possible. 

He walked over to her. He looked her in the eyes and held her tight. She didn’t move. She let him take the lead. He moved his head down to her lips and kissed her. She held on tight to him feeling the warmth of his body radiate to her as they kissed. His hands moved to her waist and she moved closer to him. He let go of her and stared at her. 

“Walk me downstairs?” 

“I’d be happy to.”


	12. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on Maria. You know what I mean. We are grown adults.The feeling is mutual. We are friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update was later than usual. Maria is a Philinda shipper and I honestly have no idea how the end came to be. It just happened. Also, warning, the last half of this chapter is a little dark. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“So I take it that you and Phil had a good sleepover party last night?”

Maria walked into the room grinning widely and placed a cup of tea on the table. Melinda looked up from her work. 

“Okay. One, it was not a sleepover party because I did not spend the night and it wasn't a party. Two, how did you know where I went last night? Wait. Were you spying on me?” 

Maria laughed out loud.

“Calm down. I wasn’t spying on you. Phil told me.”

Melinda looked at her fully.

“He seems like a genuinely nice person. I mean, from what I can see.”

“Can we not do this now? Please?” 

“Do what?”

“Come on Maria. You know what I mean. We are grown adults.The feeling is mutual. We are friends.”

“Uh huh. Sure. Then why did you guys kiss?”

“To be fair. He kissed me first. And, how do you know the details of what we did last night?” 

“I have my sources.”

Melinda sighed and continued her work.

“So do you? Like him?” 

“No. I mean- I don’t know. Am I supposed to?”

Maria walked over to the examination table. 

“He cares about you and you care about him. There’s definitely something there. You're short and fun. And he is tall and not as fun. Plus you guys also give each other really thoughtful gifts.”

“This has nothing to do with the gifts or our heights.”

Maria smirked and crossed her arms. 

“You know what they always say, opposites attract.”

“Okay, you are enjoying this way too much. I don’t-”

The door opened and in came Phil trying to hide his smile. Melinda stood up, caught off guard and began stuttering. 

“What- what are you doing- no- what are- damn it- what do you need?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s back for round two of your make-out session. I’ll leave you two alone.”

Melinda’s mouth was left hanging open as she stared at Maria who made her way to the door and gave her a thumbs up and a huge smile before she left.

\---------------  
After tossing and turning for a while Natahsa stared at the wall determined to get some form of sleep before the guards came in to wake her for breakfast. Her hand traced the line carved into the wall until she couldn’t reach anymore. 

She rolled over onto her back, balling her hand into fists just thinking about yesterday. “Reckless, stupid, bitch.” She mumbled to herself. “They don’t care about you. No one does. Why should I care about myself?” 

She shut her eyes as hard as she could then opened them.

She shot out of her bed angrily, kicking the blanket off and walked over to the wall across her bed where her sink and mini bathroom was. She stared at her reflection. 

“I hate you!” She yelled to the mirror. She picked up her cup with all of its contents inside and threw it across the room. She turned her head back to the mirror. 

“It's all your fault!” She raised her fist and punched the mirror as hard as she could. She didn’t break the mirror but it began to crack. “You don’t deserve anything! You don’t!” She kept going.

Punch after punch led her hands to bleed until one final blow on the mirror caused it to shatter sending shards of glass everywhere.

She stopped yelling and stared at the floor, then back at the broken mirror and moved her gaze to her cut hands. “Time to get up and-” The guard stopped in his tracks. 

“What?!” She hissed. The guard gave one final look at her before leaving the room. She turned to look back at the mess she made. Glass all over the floor, her stuff everywhere and her hands were bleeding.

“You could have died.” A voice whispered quietly. She whirled around and saw Grant in the doorway of her cell. “Leave me alone.”He continued to walk in, ignoring what she said. “Can we talk?”He asked.

“I don’t want to. There’s nothing to discuss.” She began walking towards the door but Grant pulled her back into the room.

“Do you regret it?” 

“I don’t owe you an answer.”

“Your right. You don’t owe me an answer.”

“Then are we done?”

Grant looked her in the eyes.

“The truth is, I care about you.”

Natasha began to get up when Grant held her back one more time. She looked him in the eyes.

“You have no idea who I am or what I have done.”

“I know exactly who you are and I know what you have done and what you are capable of.” 

“You think you know me that well? You think I like being me? This girl who is- You claim you care and you won’t hurt me and won’t leave me. How do you think I ended up here?”

“I’m sor-”

“It was because of him. He claimed he cared. He claimed he loved me. He didn’t want me. Nobody wants me. Not even myself.”

Natasha sank to the ground with her hand still bloody and cut. She felt the intense pain from the cuts but didn’t bother to try and patch herself up. She knew she would regret saying what she just said but there was no turning back now. 

————-

As Grant left Natasha’s cell he began to wonder if he pushed her too hard. He spotted his dad watching him from a far. He tried to not make eye contact but it was too late. “Grant.” He said coldly, walking over to him. “Father.” He said without looking at him. 

“We need to talk.” He dragged Grant by the arm down the hall and into a small room and closed the door behind him.

“What the hell were you thinking? I am trying to help you get out and now she could be on to me.” He hissed angrily. “Wait what are you talking about?” Grant scratched his head in confusion.

The man looked out the window before continuing. “The doctor.” Grant held his breath. “Keep her out of this.” His tone grew defensive. 

“She is a liability.” The man in front of him stated. Grant opened his mouth to speak. “It doesn’t matter. You are not really him. You are just pretending to be.” 

Grant knew that the man pretending to be his dad wasn’t actually his dad. It was all part of the plan.

“But they don’t know that.” The man explained. “So then keep your cover and don’t talk to me. You're supposed to hate me.” The man sighed.

“My orders were to get you out of jail the same way we got the flower out but because you have feelings, my cover could have been blown.” He sat down. Grant didn’t know what to say. 

“Daisy...she’s, alive? How?”

“Daisy was an asset.”

“What do you mean was? And to who?”

“We knew that you had a friendship with her and we needed you out of jail. We also knew that you would not just blindly follow us, so we had to edit the plan.”

“You killed her so I could come with you?”

“We faked her death. The timing had to be right.”

“Is that even possible?”

“Anything is possible if you put your mind to it.”

“So now what?”

“Now. We do the same for you.”

He leaned over to whisper instructions into Grant's ears. 

“It will take too long. Why don’t we just cut the theatrics?”

“Because, then they will grow suspicious. We have to build up.”

Grant sighed, thinking about what he has to do.

“Think about your love for Daisy. You wouldn’t want her to be left all alone?” The man gave one look at him and left, leaving Grant alone in the small room.


	13. Habits Of My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha didn’t want to be rude towards her doctor’s suggestion but she also didn’t want to open herself up like a wound. Telling one person her issues was like telling the whole world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a doctor or a counselor. I got all of the stuff in this chapter from online, knowledge from school and doing research online. Also sorry this is a little later than usual. Anyways, enjoy!

It had officially been half an hour since Phil left and Melinda was settled in and halfway into her paperwork when a knock on the door stopped her short of writing. She turned her head in the direction of the door and hesitated before walking over to open it. When she swung the door open she saw Natasha holding her hand which was dripping with blood. 

She rushed the girl inside, slammed the door and sat her down on the examination table. “What happened?” She asked with a slightly panicked tone, pressing the gauze onto the girl’s hand in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Natasha stares at the floor, guilty. “My anger got the best of me.” She winced when Melinda added a little more pressure onto the wound. 

Once the bleeding lessened and Melinda could see the cut in more detail she looked up at Natasha. “What exactly did you punch?” She asked, throwing away the bloody gauze and applying a new one. “Glass.” Melinda froze. “Glass?” She squeaked. “As in, you punched the mirror?” Natasha nodded. “Why?” Natasha’s gaze met Melinda’s. “Like I said, my emotions got the best of me.” Natasha shrugged, hoping that Melinda would not ask her to elaborate.

“You should see the prison counselor.” Natasha bit her lower lip. “I don’t want to end up like-like her.” Melinda looked up at her and saw the fear in her eyes. “It’s his job to help people. He helps them to express their emotions in a safe and non destructive manner.”

Natasha didn’t want to be rude towards her doctor’s suggestion but she also didn’t want to open herself up like a wound. Telling one person her issues was like telling the whole world. “You're going to need stitches because-” Alarms were going off and lights were flashing. Both women looked up at each other.

“Code blue!” Melinda yelled already halfway out the door with her medical bag. She dashed down the hall and found Phil was already ahead of her. “What happened?!” She yelled trying her best to catch up to him. “Code blue on the north side!” He yelled back to her as they turned another corner. They made their way to the entrance of the cafeteria and attempted to squeeze their way past guards who were trying to force back various inmates who were shouting and screaming. 

When they reached the doorway of the cell she saw an unconscious woman lying on the bed with a long string near her. “What happened?” Phil asked “She strangled herself to death. If she lives, then she will suffer from lack of oxygen to the brain.” Maria answered while doing chest-compressions on the unconscious woman. Melinda began getting the AED ready.

“Clear.” She did one shock. Nothing. “Clear.” She did a second shock. Nothing. The woman didn’t regain consciousness. “Clear.” Melinda’s voice shook a little while she did another shock. 

She stared at the woman with tears getting ready to fall and she prepared to do another shock when she felt a firm hand on her shoulder. She froze. “Melinda. She’s gone.” Phil whispered gently, taking the device out of Melinda’s hands. “Time of death, 10:27 am.” Maria announced walking over to the woman and removing the stickers off her body. Melinda slowly got off the bed and made her way past the people who would take the body away. 

Blinking back tears, Melinda kept her head down as she ran past the guards and inmates. This wasn’t the first patient she had lost on the job, but this was the first one she had lost in a while. With every step she took, Phil’s voice echoed through her head. “Melinda. She’s gone.” He spoke with a slight tremble. “She’s gone.” She didn’t want to waste tears over what happened, but she wanted to feel something. Anything. Anything other than emptiness. “She’s gone.” Sighing once more, she opened the door to let herself into her office. 

“Let’s finish what we started.” She whispered to Natasha who made her way back onto the examination table. She finished stitching her hand in silence and dismissed her as quickly as possible. As Natasha made her way out of the room, she closed the door behind her and stood in the middle of her room, not knowing what to do next. 

She looked over at her examination table, the place where she had treated dozens of people and had met both Natasha and Grant. Her mind wandered to the day where she met Maria, all those years ago and Phil not too long ago. People that had changed her life both personally and professionally. 

Her last location was the door itself. She stared at the door. A heavy, cold, metal door that she constantly used as a wall to block the ongoing chaos of the prison. It was the only way to stay sane. Her office was her space. A space that she greatly cherished and spent most of her days working in. It was a place that she cried in, got invited to date’s in and had countless conversations in. 

“I’m sorry she had to go like that.” A quiet voice commented from the door. She turned and saw Phil was standing in the doorway. “Mind if I stay for a bit?” She nodded. Phil plopped down on the ground and Melinda took the space next to him. She stared at him for a moment and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I don’t know what to say.” She began quietly. 

“She was either suicidal or really desperate to get out.” Phil nodded in agreement. “How many more attempts will it take for them to realize that they can’t get out until their time is up?” She wondered out loud. “The amount of attempts don’t matter. The people, the amount of lives lost at the end of the attempts, that’s what matters.” Phil answered. He looked over at her and watched as she wiped away some tears. “It's our job to- to save them.” She whispered. 

“We can’t save them if they don’t want to save themselves.” They looked at each other, a silence filling the air. “You are so much better than the old counselor.” Phil raised his eyebrow at the sudden comment. “Much more supportive, kind and friendlier. Easy to relate to.” She shrugged. “What were they like?” 

“He was a pain in the ass,” Phil chuckled lightly. “He was a bully who seemed to love the power his position offered. He appeared to hate prisoners, showing no compassion to them during sessions and treating his colleagues with little respect to no respect.” She explained. “The prisoners hated him, and a lot of the officers and staff complained about his arrogant manner.” She added, turning her head to gaze into his eyes. “I’m glad you’re nothing like him.” He smiled. They got off the floor. They stood a few inches apart. “I’m glad I’m nothing like him. And Melinda, if you need anything, just ask.”

————-

Phil was busy finishing up notes from the last session he had when the door swung open and in came a guard and another one of his patients who he’d only met once. He looked up from his work. “May I help you?” The guard walked over to him. “I caught him wandering around. When I asked him where he was supposed to be he claims he has a session around now.” He answered looking back at the man whose eyes were studying the room.

“Yes, he does have a session with me now.” Phil pointed to the chair and rubbed the back of his neck. “Have a seat and we will get started.” He motioned the guard to leave the room and he flipped to a new page in his notebook. 

“Remind me again, how long have you been sentenced for?” 

“Twelve weeks.” 

“Not too bad then.” 

The man across from him laughed half-heartedly. Phil knew this man had a number of mental illnesses but he had been recommended to see him due to his self destructive rage. All he had to do was try to find the triggers and help him work through the emotion. Phil could feel the man staring at him as he finished up writing notes, and he began to feel uneasy.

Suddenly the man leapt out of his seat and started smashing his head against the wall. He kept whacking his head forcefully against the brick wall, filling the room with the awful sound of his skull reverberating. “Stop!” Phil yelled. But the man continued, ignoring Phil’s yells. Beating his head again and again with narrowed eyes and gritted teeth. “Stop!” He yelled once more and the man froze. With his hands clenched into tight fists, he slowly turned his head and angrily glared at Phil. 

‘Does he mean to turn his anger on me?’ Phil wondered and smacked the panic button to the left of his desk. Within seconds at least eight prison officers were charging into his room. The man tried to fight them off- kicking, pushing and punching. After what felt like forever, the guards had managed to force him to the ground and cuffed his arms behind his back. He thrashed around as they lifted him off the ground and dragged him out of the room. His screams left a trail of echoes along the hall.

————-

“Have you ever thought about escaping?” Grant looked up and saw Natasha peering over him. He sighed deeply and sat up to face her. “Why do you ask?” She gave a small, sad smile and sat down next to him. “Given recent events of a code blue, I feel like a riot will break out,” Grant raised his eyebrow. “So?” Natasha faced him completely. “Death is looming too close here, I don’t want to die.” She whispered. “I want to be free and not be a caged animal.” She added. 

“What’s your plan?” He asked. “I haven’t thought that far,” She looked down at the floor. “Another question. Why me?” He asked. “I guess it’s because you are the only person I trust that won’t outright attack me if I talk to you.” She sighed. “Well I’m sorry to say this but, I-” He froze and blinked twice. “I don’t think I want to leave just yet, if you know what I mean,” He tried to steer the conversation in another direction. 

“Why? Is it because of your dad?” She questioned suddenly. He gave an uncomfortable half smile. “No, it’s-it’s complicated,” He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. The idea of freedom seemed so close but yet so far that he didn’t want to say or do anything that would drive it further away. Grant thought back to the conversation he had with the man who was impersonating his dad. ‘There can be room for one more, right?’ He wondered to himself.

“I-I have a plan, well technically it isn’t my plan but it’s-” He began slowly. “It’s a way out. However, I just need you to trust me.” She frowned and got up. “Are you sure it is an actual plan not just committing suicide?” She placed her hands on her hips. “Because if it is suicide, I’m not doing it.” He got up and stood in front of her. “I am positive that this will work.” Natasha opened her mouth to speak but was shushed by Grant. “Freedom is coming, I can feel it. We just need to be patient.” 

————-

After a long and exhausting day, Phil was getting ready to leave the room when ding came from his phone. He carefully took out the phone from his pocket and smiled as he opened the text message. “It's been one hell of a day. Want to go out for coffee again?” He read Melinda’s message aloud. He instantly typed his reply. “Habits of my heart, I can’t say no.” He spoke as he typed, giving a huge grin after he hit send.


	14. Fighting & Loving In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How did you know where I was going to be this morning?”
> 
> “I followed you.” 
> 
> “I didn’t see anyone. I checked, there was no one following me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven’t figured it out already, Grant’s real dad isn’t actually with him in the prison, it is a man pretending to be his dad, so from now on for story sakes, I will just keep calling him “Officer Ward” but just remember that it truly is not his dad. Anyways, enjoy!

Grant makes his way past the cafeteria and pulls the gate open to the next hallway. He turns the corner but quickly looks behind him making sure no one is following him. He spots a figure walking down the hall towards him. He slows down and lets them pass him. He lets out a quick sigh of relief before continuing down the hall. 

“Glad you’re still in one piece.” He looked up. He saw the man playing his father in front of him smirking. “What the hell does that mean?” He glared at him. “Nevermind,” Officer Ward waved off his comment and opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Grant’s question.

“What about the transfer?” 

“That’s all talk made by your dad to add to the fire.”

“So, I’m not getting transferred?” He asks, biting his lip.

“You know the answer to that question.” 

Grant stands there processing the new information as he continues. “We are going to put the plan in motion in two days, which means you need to end the friendships you made.” He explains. “Yeah, um about that,” Grant begins, chewing on his lower lip. “What did you do?” Grant takes a deep breath and speaks. “I think I made a promise I can’t keep.” Officer Ward narrows his eyes and crosses his arms. 

“Regarding?” 

“There’s this girl, Natasha, she wants out and I told her-”

“No.”

“But you don’t even-”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“My orders were very clear. One person and one person only. I’m not getting fired for not following simple instructions.”

“But they aren’t simple instructions and what if that person that you get out is her instead of me?”

Officer Ward was shocked by his question. Why was Grant willing to risk his freedom for a girl he just met? He tries to think of a way to argue back but decides against it. “I’ll see you soon. Same place, same time.” He motions for Grant to leave but he doesn’t. He just stands still. “Grant.” He prompts. “What?” Grant snaps back. “You are dismissed.” He says firmly. Grant glares at him before leaving. As he ventures out of the room, he tries to keep his head down and avoid eye contact with those around him. 

He makes his way out to the cafeteria where he spots Natasha sitting, crossed legged on the table, with her arms crossed. He sighs before walking over to her. “I have something to tell you,” He begins, offering a hand to help her off the table. She doesn’t move. She just stares straight ahead. “Come with me.” She orders, unfolding her arms. She swats his hand away and gets off the table. As she walks right past him, he watches from afar. “You coming?” She asks, pushing the doors to the cafeteria open and leaves.

He quickly chases after her and follows her into a badly lit hallway with barely anyone. “What is this all about?” He stills, watching as she slowly turns around to face him. “How dare you!” She hisses. She reads the confusion and innocence on his face and soon her slow walk towards him turns into a full blown run. She practically runs right into him, taking him down with her. He tries to break free but her leg is wrapped around his neck, slowly choking the life out of him. 

After a moment she removes her leg and gets off the ground. He gasps for air as he gets up. She gives him a quick glare before she shoves him hard, sending him stumbling backwards. “I-I trusted you!” She walks closer to his body. He quickly gets back onto his feet. Natasha takes a few steps back, giving some space between them. 

He reaches out and grabs her by the arm and throws her against the wall. “Why are you doing this? I don’t want to fight you.” He asks, keeping a good distance from her. Natasha gets up holding her arm. “You lied to me.” She whispers. “What?” He asks, trying to put the pieces together.

“You said you had a way out.” 

“I did.”

“Did. Past tense.”

He takes a deep breath. “Before I answer your question, answer mine.” He puts his hands up to show he didn’t want to fight her. She raises an eyebrow. 

“How did you know where I was going to be this morning?”

“I followed you.” 

“I didn’t see anyone. I checked, there was no one following me.” 

“You’re not a good spy, or matter of fact a good person.”

“I know I’m not a good person but-”

“But?”

“So, you heard-”

“I heard the part where you asked about me.”

“Natasha- I can explain-”

“Why’d you change your mind about your freedom?”

He hesitates. He changed his mind because he thought it was the right thing to do. To help her. But now, he was thinking that it probably wasn’t the best idea he’s ever had. He had to say something, anything, because sooner or later she might attack him again. “I changed my mind because it was-” He can’t bring himself to say it. He stands there like an idiot. “You need to end the friendships you made.” His dad’s voice reminded. He stares at Natasha. A poor, innocent girl who got tangled up in his life. 

He thought about what to say next. There was only one thing left to say to her, which was the truth. “The truth will set you free.” He mumbles to himself. “What?” She asks. He looks up to her, ready to admit the truth. “I wanted to trade my freedom because I thought it was the right thing to do, but now I realize that it wasn’t.” He pauses for a moment and looks at her. He gathers as much anger and hatred as he can and lets it out on her. 

“I don’t care about you. No one does. You don’t deserve freedom, you- you useless piece of shit!” He yells. She looks like she is about to cry. She drops to her knees and looks up at him. “Grant please-” She whispers. “I’m done helping you.” He states coldly and walks down the hall, leaving her in the poorly lit hallway. 

————-

“You have one pan.” 

“Don’t worry it’s new. I haven’t used it.” Melinda walks over to a very distracted Phil who had been searching for her cooking tools. “Where are your other tools?” He asks looking up. “Non-existent.” She replies, pulling out her phone. "Seriously?!” Phil frowns. “What?” She looks up from her phone. “You barely have anything.” He places his hands on his hips and stares at her. “I have utensils.” She turns her attention back to her phone. “Which are probably barely used.” He mumbles to himself. 

He continues to look around and suddenly he freezes in place. “Wait. You have a coffee maker? But you don’t drink coffee.” He scratches his head in confusion and points to the machine that is tucked away in the corner of her counter. She walks over to him and chuckles. “It’s for tea, I brew tea the same way you brew coffee.” She explains and walks over to her cabinet, she pulls out a bag of store bought tea leaves. “At home I brew with leaves and at work I brew with tea bags.” She states and hands him the bag. 

He studies the tea bag for a moment, realizing he can’t read any of it because it’s in Chinese. “I’m ordering takeout from a local restaurant, take a look at the menu.” She hands him her phone. He places the bag of tea leaves down and highlights his order. While she orders, he stares at her. She is beautiful. Naturally beautiful. He likes that. When she is done ordering she hangs up and catches him staring at her. “Do I have something in my hair?” She asks. He instantly turns a shade of red and blinks. “No-no there’s nothing in your hair. You look good.” She gives a small smile. 

“Can I look around?” He asks pointing to the unseen bathroom and bedroom. “If you are done throwing shade at my kitchen.” She smirks. He made his way to her bathroom, it was small, beautiful and well organized. Just like her. She trails behind him as he wanders around her apartment. Her bedroom shelf has some items that remind her of home and the bottom half of her shelf is filled with blankets and pillows. “Why so many?” He asks. “Small body means I get cold easily.” She shrugs.

He takes a look at her nightstand and sees the panda plush he gave her sitting beside her phone charger. “Looks like you found it a nice place to stay.” He flashes her a smile. “It was either here or across the room.” She points to the shelf with the blankets and pillow. He makes his way to the living room and spots a thick looking DVD box. He picks up the box and reads it out loud. “Mulan and Mulan 2 double pack,” He looks up at her. “Is this why you recommended Mulan?” She blushes a little and nods. He chuckles. 

When their food arrives, they don’t bother to sit while they eat, instead they stand quite close to each other while they dine. It feels weird at first but as he eats his chicken and peanut dish, he manages to steal occasional glances at Melinda and realizes that it wasn’t as bad as the thought it would be. On the other hand, while he is busy eating and stealing looks at her, she takes his peanuts, leaving him tons of chicken left.. 

“Hey! My peanuts!” He looks down at his paper plate and turns his attention to her; she smiles and shoves another bite or rice in her mouth. He sighs and reaches his hand out to steal her spring roll. Unfortunately, she beats him to it and moves the spring roll out of reach and eats it in front of him. “You want half?” She asks, walking over to place her dirty paper plate in the garbage. “It’s kind of too late,” He blushes and makes his way over to the garbage can to throw his plates and utensils away. 

“That was a great meal.” He sighs. “I don’t take credit for it. I could never.” She admits and walks over to the counter to make some tea. “Why not? You could learn, it’s all about practice.” He states. “One day,” She sighs. “Still, you’re the one who recommended it, so you should get some credit.” He asks and walks over to her. “If you say so,” She drops the tea bag in the cup of warm water and lets it sit in her cup.

“Hey, Mel, is it okay if I call you that?” He asks, playing around with a lock of hair. “Sure,” She doesn’t turn around and he keeps playing with the lock of hair. “Are we official?” She turns around. “What?” She asks. “Us, a-couple?” He whispers shyly. “If you want us to be then-” He quickly pulls her forward and kisses her, making her stop mid sentence. He pulls away and looks into her eyes. “I do. I really do.” He admits and moves hands to her waist. “You really should get used to saying it with more confidence. But yes, we would be nice.” She leans in to return the kiss. 

At eleven o’clock at night, he finds himself chasing her to the bedroom and closes the door behind them. She takes her pants and shirt off, leaving her in a tank top and underwear. She free falls onto the bed and he soon follows her onto the bed in his underwear. She makes space for him and she topples over and falls into a pile of blankets. She lets out a laugh as she tries to untangle herself. “You are going to break my bed,” She states as he crawls up next to her. They rest their heads against the headboard mostly naked and somewhat cold. “You mean we are going to break it,” He smirks. 

They lay down next to each other, pull up the blanket and face one another. “You know, I could get used to this.” He lets out a sigh and reaches out to tuck hair behind her ear. “Used to what?” She raises an eyebrow. “Your warmth.” He mutters. “My what now?” She begins to sit up but he pulls her back under the blanket. “Your warm mindset and warm body.” She laughs. “Warm mindset?” He nods. “You like to make people think you are this tough and brave doctor, which you are but, deep down, you have a warm heart.” He explains. 

“Hey, if anything, you’re the one with the warm heart.” She argues back smiling. “You don’t say.” Melinda nods. “I do say. People like you for that.” He scratches his head. “And by people you mean-” He starts. “I mean me.” She finishes. He watches the difference between her smile versus a playful smile. “Don’t try to hide from this,” He starts up. Melinda rolls her eyes. “I thought we were done with this conversation,” He continues talking, despite her protests. 

“We all know that you are just a soft little panda bear,” She crosses her arms. “Maria knows it, Fury knows it and thankfully, I do.” She glares at him. “It’s not a bad thing, it’s just, well-” He pauses. “Well?” She asks. “It’s funny to see y-” He gets smacked in the face with a pillow. After a moment of silence Melinda speaks up. “Do you think Maria likes being the third wheel in our relationship?” She asks 

“She seems to be enjoying it.” He shrugs. “You're right, she is way too invested in ours. One of these days we should set her up,” She turns and sees his face full of confusion. “On a date.” She finishes. “Oh, a date, right.” He gives a nervous grin and turns his back to her. Melinda curls her body around Phil. He drapes an arm over Melinda’s waist loosely. He stiffens. Melinda’s hands are ice cold. 

He moves away from her and attempts to leave the bed but he gets pulled back. Melinda’s freezing hands touch his skin. He yelps and jerks away. “Go away,” He complains. “Your hands are way too cold.” Melinda grins at him wickedly and places her hands to his ribs. She howls with laughter while he shrieks and squirms away from her. There is a thump. She frowns and leans over the edge of the bed.

“Did you just fall off the bed?” She asks.

“Shut up,” He mumbles.


	15. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melinda might have committed a crime. Maria is still the Philinda shipper we know and love. And Phil’s emotions might have gotten the best of him.

The next morning, Phil wakes up to the smell of Banana Bread coming from the kitchen. He rolls over on his side to face Melinda only to find that she isn’t there. He inhales the scent one more time before pulling off the blanket and getting dressed. “You made breakfast?” He asks, walking into the living room.

“No, god no, I managed to keep it warm.” She places a slice of the dish on a plate and hands him a fork. He smiles before taking a bite. When he finishes chewing he gives a laugh. “Is it good?” He nods and hands her the plate to try. “We should get going or we’ll be late.” She sets the plate down and walks over to the mirror to do her hair. 

She stares at her image and runs her hands through her hair before beginning to pull her hair into a ponytail. She keeps messing around with it prompting Phil to walk over to her. “Wear it down.” She drops her hair and faces him. He gives a small smile and leaves the room to get the car started. 

Melinda opens the door to the passengers side and slides in. She checks the time while putting her seat belt on. “So if we get there in half an hour, we will have just enough time to check in, depart from each other so no one suspects we slept together and-” Phil gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “Relax, we won’t be late.” He removes his hand and starts up the car. 

Half an hour later they pull up to the gate and pull into the parking lot. “So if anyone asks, what do we say?” Melinda turns to face Phil. “Asks about what?” He raises an eyebrow. “Us? What do we say?” He clarifies. She gets out of the car and closes the door. 

“If they are truly professional, they wouldn’t ask. Our personal lives are none of their business.” 

“What if our boss finds out?” 

“He won’t.” 

“Are you sure?”

Melinda sighs and nods her head.

“Okay, but what about Maria? You know how she is,” 

“She’s fine, it’s not like-” 

Phil motions for her to turn around. Maria is standing behind her. “H-How long have you been standing there?” She asks. “Long enough,” Maria begins walking towards the entrance. “We can explain,” Phil runs after her with Melinda close behind him. 

“Don’t bother, Melinda’s right, your personal lives don’t concern me.” They show their ID at the front desk and go through security. “Yes but-” He protests. “But?” She stops before pushing the doors open to the next hall. 

“You might tell.” Phil bit his lip. He turned slightly red at the idea of his boss knowing he slept with his co-worker. “And why would I do that?” She asks looking over at Melinda and gives a mischievous smile.

“Because you’re, you and you sometimes can’t help yourself.” She smirks and pushes the door open allowing the other two to follow behind her. “Look, if you are really concerned with me telling, I won’t because I like seeing your faces when you get all flustered and embarrassed while talking about your relationship.” Maria explains.

Melinda gives an eye roll, Phil covers his face with his hands, and Maria chuckles out loud. The three of them make their way to their respective work spaces to start their day.

————-

“Did you know that poverty, parental neglect, low self-esteem, alcohol and drug abuse can be connected to why people break the law?” Maria asked reading off her phone. Melinda looked up from her computer. “And you're telling me this because?” She asks. “Because it’s interesting,” Maria replies and continues scrolling on her phone. 

“Some people have a wish to kill, not a will to kill.” Maria states. Melinda sighs while listening to her friend talk about crime. Maria clicks off her phone, leans against the table and starts talking.

“Now enough about my interest in crime, let’s talk about the crime you’ve committed.” 

“What? I’ve never committed a crime,” 

“Yes you have,”

“What did I do?” 

“You stole.”

“I stole?!”

“You stole Phil’s heart.” 

Melinda gives an eyeroll and groans.

————-

“Come in, take a seat and we will get started.” Phil points to the chair across from him and glances back at the door. “Whatever you want,” Grant slowly makes his way to the chair, stopping in front of it, he hesitates, looks up at him and sits down.

Phil knew that Grant often liked to make rude comments and act a certain way to avoid talking to him, but today, he actually wanted to hear what he had to say, all of it. For some reason, he felt like he should just hear it all and get over with it. 

“Remember, my purpose here is not to judge you.” He begins. Grant carefully leans his body forward in the char, resting his arms on his knees and sighs. “That’s literally all you do. All the time.” He states dryly and leans back, folding his arms. 

Phil holds his breath for a moment. He is slightly taken aback by the comment, yet, he knew this would happen. It was as if he knew Grant better than he knew himself. “Are you even listening? Are you even truly here?” He asks, feeling his voice rise. 

Grant remains silent for a moment then a smirk appears on his face. “Physically, yes.” He takes a quick glance around the room and turns his attention back to him. “Mentally is debatable.” He finishes and the smirk disappears. Annoyed, Phil sighs and sifts around uncomfortably in his chair. 

“You wanna go get Dr. May? See if she can help you out a bit?” Grant asks in a taunting voice, giving a slight smile. Phil sits there, frozen in place. He wants to say no because he didn’t want her to think that he couldn’t fight his own battle. But he realizes that she is probably the only person who can help him solve Grant.

“Yes, I do.” Phil begins. Grant is surprised but keeps quiet and just listens to him. He mustered up as much courage as he could before opening his mouth and speaking. 

“I want to go get her so she can get into that twisted brain of yours! Everything that comes out of your mouth is either a lie or an insult. I’m done trying to figure you out. I don’t care that you hold a grudge against me and I don’t care about Daisy, she is not my responsibility, not any more.” Phil knows it's wrong to lash out at a patient but he did it anyway and there was no going back. 

He wants to say more but stops himself. He stares at Grant who is wide eyed. Grant tilts his head and looks to the floor. He didn’t look fearful or angry, he looked, unfazed. Did he think this was a game? His words must’ve had to have some kind of effect on him.

He clears his throat. Grant looks up, half startled. “T-That will be all.” He stammers while watching Grant get out of the chair and wordlessly shuts the door behind him.

————-

Grant leaves the counselling session feeling worse than he was when he woke up. That morning he woke up with a headache and a bad feeling about how the day would go. Turns out, he was right.

I want to go get her so she can get into that twisted brain of yours! He replays a part of their conversation. Twisted brain. He agrees. He has a twisted brain. He doesn’t deny the truth that he is a messed up person. As a matter of fact, a really messed up person.

Everything that comes out of your mouth is either a lie or an insult. Recalling this makes him feel a strong urge to cry and scream but he refrains. Instead he balls his fists, clenches his teeth, and slams his body as hard as he can into a nearby wall.

He hisses in pain, quickly grabs his shoulder and reassures himself. He reminds himself that he has suffered worse and that the throbbing pain around his shoulder was nothing. 

I don’t care about Daisy, she is not my responsibility, not any more. He knew that Daisy was never truly Dr. Coulson’s responsibility. Daisy was his and will always be. At this moment, he realized that he never fully understood why he held such an intense grudge against him. 

But on the flip side, he also didn’t understand his love for Daisy. It was complex and built on emotional pain. Some might consider his love for her as an unhealthy obsession but he knew it wasn’t. 

After his deep thinking session, he decides to seek out Natasha. He stops himself short before reaching the center of the prison. It quickly hit’s him that he can’t. He can’t because he betrayed her. 

He betrayed the one person who probably genuinely cared about him. He didn’t even apologize to her. He didn’t even look back. He lost his one friend in the prison. 

Wait. Friend? Were they even close enough to be called friends? He did say that he cared about her but did she care about him? Maybe betraying her was worth it. But maybe it wasn’t. 

As he keeps thinking about what could've happened, he begins to fall into a debate about his freedom, again. He thought about the different ways it could have gone. He thought about what he could’ve said. 

Maybe he could’ve told her that he would come back for her. He could’ve said an ‘I’m sorry.’ or something other than what he said. He slams his body into the wall one final time and leaves the hallway.

————-

“Mel, it’s like he wasn’t affected by anything I said,” 

“What exactly did you say to him?” 

He doesn’t want to tell her the truth about how he lost control and lashed out. After a moment of debating in his mind, he asks a question. 

“How do you stand his comments, his rudeness, his- everything about him?” 

“I don’t. I never needed to.”

“Why not? You don’t get offended or angry?”

“I don’t get offended or angry because he doesn’t say those mean, snarky and sarcastic comments to me,”

“So he says it just to get on my nerves? To try and mess with my emotions?”

Phil can feel his anger rising again. Melinda sighs.

“Grant may seem to have a tough exterior but on the inside he is soft and fragile.”

“Like you?”

Melinda gives an eye roll and a small smile tugs on her lips. 

“If you say so,”

He chuckles softly. 

“Look, be honest with him and he will be honest with you.”

“I tried that and it didn’t end well.”

“Then try again.”

“Mel-”

“Phil, he is a kid who just happened to get mixed up with the wrong people.” 

He stands there to process what she said. He knew she was right. He remembered how Grant wanted to help Daisy, like there was nothing else in the world as important as she was. He suddenly remembered how he treated them. Him, more specifically. 

Every time Grant asked for his help he said no. He knew Grant wanted to help her so badly and was probably willing to sacrifice himself for her. At the time he only thought he was respecting Daisy's wishes by leaving her be. But now, he realized that he wasn’t. 

He let an innocent person die when they didn’t have to. He could’ve saved her. He could’ve saved Grant from losing her. And more importantly, he could’ve saved himself from the guilt and pain that came with everything that he didn’t do.

After a moment of silence Melinda speaks up. “Grant’s transfer is tomorrow and I did nothing about it.” She walks over to Phil. He sighs. “You did all you could-” He begins but she cuts him off. “It wasn’t enough,” Her tone grows sharp and angry. 

“Melinda, you did all you could now you have to let him go. Let the boy go.” He tries to comfort her while she bites her lip, holding back tears. “He doesn’t deserve this- he doesn’t deserve to be here, none of them do-” Phil wraps her in a tight hug and whispers in her ear. “I know, I know.”


	16. Forgiveness Is Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grant reflects on his relationships with certain people and tries to correct wrongs on his last day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first completed multi-chapter story!! I am really excited and nervous for you to read this final chapter of a story that I have been working on for officially a year. Just as a small warning as you read be careful of any triggers because there is mentions of suicide and violence. So without further ado, here is the final chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy! <333

“I’m here to get a copy of my medical file.” Grant states standing by the doorway. “Dr. May is printing your file, she’ll be here in a few minutes.” Maria explains. “So, how are you?” He asked, trying his best to fill the silence.

“I am doing okay, and you?” She answers while gesturing for him to come inside. “I’m fine, nervous though.” He replies honestly, moving away from the doorway and into the room. 

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, it’s just another prison, different rules, but still, a prison is a prison.” Maria explains giving a shrug. “Yeah, you do have a point.” Grant gives a light laugh realizing that Maria might be right and that there was really nothing to be afraid of. 

Looking back, he and Maria always had a neutral relationship. From what he could remember, he never really made mean or snarky comments towards her. She was nice to him and he was nice to her. Plus he knew that Dr. May would never forgive him if he did or said anything harmful towards her.

His relationship with Dr. May was well, interesting. He hadn’t known her for an extremely long time but he learned a few things about her. He learned that she was a woman who could be kind and understanding when she needed to be but she could just as easily become defensive and stubborn. 

Soon after, he learned that she was an amazing listener. He found comfort in the fact that she listened to him and made him feel understood even when he was talking nonsense to her. He never had that before and never thought that he would until he met her.

After doing it twice wondered why she did it, but because she made it seem like she knew where he was coming from and he didn’t really question whether she actually cared about him. It was something that he would definitely miss when he leaves. 

Though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone out loud, he respected her for a number of reasons. She had managed to stand up to people who had once underestimated her and she worked hard to earn her position as a doctor. She even had to undergo an extra investigation just so she could prove that she was just as capable as those around her. 

“Printers suck, especially when there are only three on this floor but only one works.” Melinda huffed, slightly annoyed while speed walking into the room. Maria gives a chuckle to herself. Melinda drops a stack of files on her table and pulls one from the top. “Your file.” She states, walking over to Grant and holds it out to him. 

“Everything is in here?” He asks, taking the file from her. “Yep. If she forgot anything she would freak out.” Maria answered from across the room. Melinda turns to look at her. “No I wouldn't.” She protested. “Come on, how long have I known you?” Maria crosses her arms. Melinda sighs. “Too long.” She mumbles and turns her attention back to Grant who is trying to resist smiling. 

“Of all the things, I did not expect you to be a perfectionist.” Grant admits. “I don’t know whether to take that as an insult or a complement.” Melinda gives a small laugh. “It’s okay to be a perfectionist, I knew someone who was one.” Grant offers up. “I know someone too.” Maria adds. “Lemme guess, me?” Melinda asks, tilting her head slightly to see Maria nodding. Melinda groans.

“I can just picture you organizing all of the medical equipment in the morning and alphabetizing the files.” Grant gives a chuckle at the thought and Maria is leaning against the table, laughing. “Hey, weren’t you the one who told me it was okay to be a perfectionist?” Melinda asked, in her fake annoyed tone. “Well yeah, but who has the time for all that in the morning? It’s way too much work.” Grant answer’s back. 

“She has time for that.” Maria points out, catching Melinda glaring at her. “Don’t you have work to do?” Melinda asks. “I suppose I do now.” Maria gives a small sigh and walks over to the stack of files on Melinda’s desk and begins looking through them. “And you, don’t you have a counselling session to attend?” She asks, giving a raised eyebrow. “Yes ma’am.” Grant nods.

“Make sure you don’t lose the file because I would hate to have to reprint it,” She begins. “And make sure to-” Melinda stops herself short and looks him in the eye. She stares at the boy before her, a mystery to those around him. 

She saw him at his worst and she saw him at his best. He trusted her and to her, that was important not just as his doctor but as a person. She still secretly wished she could have done more to help him. 

“Make sure to take care of yourself, Grant.” She finishes finally. Grant gives a nod of understanding and a small smile which she returns. “I just want you to know that even though I may never see you again, you’ll always be someone special to me and I will always appreciate what you did for me.” Grant explains. Melinda stands by her desk watching him turn to leave. “Thank you for everything.” He says to her on the way out. 

With his medical records carefully tucked under one arm, Grant walks into the hallway filled with the cells. He spots an all too familiar redhead sitting on one of the beds, her bed, most likely. While walking over, he debates in his head, realizing that it might be a risky move to talk to her, especially with how their most recent conversation ended. 

“Natasha.” He calls, standing in the doorway. Natasha turns her head to see who had called her name. “Grant,” She answers, slightly panicked. “Can we talk?” He asks while fidgeting with his hand. “If this is a continuation of last time then no.” She answers and begins to get up. He quickly moves in front of her, preventing her from leaving. He catches the sudden fear and nervousness in her eyes. 

“No, I want to apologize.” Grant starts. “I was your friend and I fucked up. This is on me. I take full responsibility for everything I said and did. And I know that you are still angry at me and you should be. I know that you won’t ever forgive me for what I said to you and that’s alright. I know it wasn’t right of me to just abandon you like that. I’m sorry.” He finishes. She looks down at the floor and thinks for a moment.

“Bullshit.” She whispers, still looking at the floor. “What?” He asks, leaning in closer to hear. She looks back up at him and repeats herself. Grant opens his mouth to speak but she cuts him off. “Did you mean it?” She asks aggressively. 

Grant can’t bring himself to look at her. He wants to say no, he didn’t mean it but he knows that it isn’t the right answer. “I had no choice but-” He manages to get out. “Don’t bother.” Natasha snapped.

“Please, let me explain, I-” He puts his hands up trying as if trying to surrender. “Leave.” She states dryly with her eyes getting wet. She feels her anger rising up and tries to control it but fails. “Nat-” He whispers. 

“Leave!” She roars, lifting her arms and shoves him hard. Grant lets his body be pushed out the room. Eventually he ends up out in the hallway. He doesn’t even bother to get up to fight back, he just sits there.

Moments later he hears the sound of guard shoes walking down the hall. He quickly gets up, brushes off the dust from his pants and fixes his hair. “Are you supposed to be here?” One guard asks walking over. Grant sighs. “No.” He answers. “Where are you supposed to be?” Another asks. “Counselling.” He replies. “You best go before you are late.” They suggest. He nods and leaves down the hallway. 

Grant ventures down the hallway towards the counselor’s officer but is stopped abruptly by his name being called. He turns around and sees Officer Wards standing behind him. “Looks like you are on your way to see Dr. Coulson, are you ready?” He asks. Grant nods confidently. 

“I loved her more than anything in this world, and she is dead because of me. This is something I have to do.” Grant explains, keeping his head held high. Officer Wards gives a firm nod and holds out a flat, medium sized box. 

Grant hesitates before reaching out to take the package. He opens the box and carefully picks up the item then proceeds to shove it under his thick shirt. Once it is safely secured he looks back up. “Good luck.” He whispers and leaves Grant to himself. 

Grant inhales and exhales twice in an attempt to calm his nerves before walking closer to the door and knocking twice. The door opens after a moment. “Ready?” Phil asks, slightly feeling his anxiety rising. While Grant walks inside and takes a seat, he reminds himself to take Melinda’s advice about being honest with Grant. He sits across from Grant and sighs before speaking. 

“Grant, I just want to say I’m sorry about what happened last time. I didn’t mean any of it I swear.” Phil admits and sucked in his breath whilst nervously waiting for a response. His apology didn’t catch Grant off guard but he questioned why he wanted to apologize to him because after all, he deserved it. 

“Yes you did.” Grant answers back. To Phil’s surprise, his answer wasn't aggressive, it was almost as if Grant agreed with what he had said. “Why do you sound like you agree with me?” Phil questions, trying to hide his surprise.

“I sound like that because I do agree with you. I hate myself. I hate who I’ve become and I hate that the people who are close to me love me but don’t love me enough to try and fix me.” For a reason unknown to Grant, he felt at ease sharing his true feelings and thoughts about how he views himself.

“Of course they want to help you, they are your family.” Phil argues. “No they won’t. They never will.” Grant retorts. He turns his head to face the direction of the window and sighs. “Why can’t you just let someone care about you?” At this question Grant turns his head to face him. They stare at each other for a moment. 

“It’s easier to push everyone away and not care than it is to let people care about me. Plus I don’t want them to waste their time on a lost cause that they know will break again.” Hearing some of his own words being used in such a negative tone had Phil at a loss of words.

Come to think of it, Phil realized that this was the first time Grant had ever been honest to him not just about his feelings about others but about himself. During their sessions Grant often wasted time by avoiding the question, throwing insults, and acting like he didn’t care about anything or one. 

But now, in this moment, he was being real and raw and Phil didn’t know why. He spent a few more seconds trying to figure out why he was being so thoughtful and open towards him but all roads lead back to Daisy. Perhaps he was done fighting a battle that he already lost. 

“Do you miss her?” Phil asks randomly. Knowing who he was talking about, Grant doesn’t know if this was the start of another ranting opportunity or if this was him being sincere and kind. At this point in time, after playing the long game for far too long he thought it was worth the risk to open himself, especially to him. 

“Everyday.” Grant replies back. “What do you think drove her over the edge?” He asks. “Me.” Grant whispers sadly. “You shouldn’t blame yourself-” Phil begins but is cut off. 

“I should. Daisy wanted to end the pain she was in, she said there was no reason left for her to live. To her, killing herself was the only way she could escape and I held her back. She’ll never forgive me and I will never forgive myself.” Grant explains feeling his heart sink at the thought of how he couldn’t save Daisy along with how he could have saved Natasha. 

“Forgiveness is freedom. Once you forgive, you have the power to allow yourself to move on without ever having to focus on the past. When we fail to forgive, it has the power to bind us and hold us captive to hurt and pain.” Phil explains. 

“What if I don’t want to move on? What if I am meant to suffer like this and hold onto the pain? ” Grant asks in a slightly rushed and panicked manner. “I don’t know who I am without my pain.” Grant adds on in a whisper. 

“Daisy would want you to.” Phil answers. “Don’t put words in her mouth, it's not polite.” He snaps. Grant knew there was no point in defending a dead person but still, putting words in other people’s mouths was not a kind gesture. “Okay, sorry.” Phil apologies quickly. He notices how Grant was quick to answer and defend Daisy even though he knew that she would want him to move on. 

“She could have used anything she wanted to hurt herself just like how everything in here can hurt you, but I can do it the most efficiently.” Grant states nonchalantly. Phil figured that whatever the moment they were currently having was now over and it was Grant back to being the same old him. The same old Grant who was always trying to find ways to ruin his life. 

He expects Grant to add onto his statement and continue his long journey to hurt him with threats and insults. But he doesn’t expect Grant to leap out of his chair and pull out a gun from under his shirt. Caught completely off guard, Phil quickly scrambles out of his chair and gets to his feet. He takes two big steps back. 

He now understands what Grant meant by how he could hurt him the most effectively. He quickly moves his arm to press the panic button but Grant swiftly moves closer to him. “I wouldn’t press that if I were you,” Grant warns. 

When Grant has Phil’s full attention he slowly lifts the gun up and places it under his chin. “This is my fault, all of it. And now it is time I paid the price for my actions.” He holds the gun just a little tighter than before. 

“No, no, Grant, wait, listen to me...we could have prevented this.” Phil states trying to remain as still as possible, aware that the smallest things might set him off to pull the trigger. “You’re right, we could have.” Grant responds, keeping the gun raised. 

Soon a hopeful look appears in Grant’s eyes. “Daisy is waiting for me on the other side.” He gives a small smile at the thought of getting the chance to see Daisy again. “You don’t have to die for her. She wouldn’t want that.” Phil tries to reason.

“No, she wouldn’t.” Grant answers back sighing. He shut his eyes tightly, taking heavy breaths in and out while gripping the gun as hard as he can, letting the yelling of his counselor become more distant and letting the reality of the moment sink in. 

Daisy, I’m so sorry, Grant thought.

5, 4, 3, 2-

Just as he is about to pull the trigger, he stops and removes the gun from his head allowing Phil to take a quick sigh of relief. When he comes back to his full senses, it takes him a second to realize what was happening. 

Now it was him on the other end; the gun was aimed at him. “She would want you to die for what you did to her.” He reveals. “Grant please.” Phil begs. Grant remains still for another moment thinking to himself. 

“Go ahead, press for help,” Grant whispered. The sudden change of mind has Phil confused but he takes the opportunity to call for help. He smacks the button as hard as he could and tries to wait for help to arrive. With what feels like forever, the door is pulled open and help finally arrives. 

“Drop your weapon!” The voice yells. Phil recognizes the voice. It’s Officer Ward. He keeps his gun steady and raised. He slowly inches closer to Grant who still has his gun pointed at Phil. “No.” Grant answers while keeping his eyes narrowed and focused completely on his target. “You pull your trigger, I pull mine.” Officer Ward warns. 

From outside the room, three gunshots could be heard. Phil looked down and saw two shots in his side. He slowly looked up at Grant who had also been shot but in his chest area. He watched as Grant looked down at the gun, horrified by what he had just done. He instantly dropped the gun and fell to the ground. 

Phil stood there shaking and frozen. Suddenly, large amounts of pain flooded into his system. Alarms went off and lights began to flash while guards started to swarm the area. 

The last clear thing he remembers seeing was Melinda running towards him as he collapsed to the ground. Yelling echoed around him. He tried to get a better view at Grant who was lying on the floor, being tended to by his dad and Maria. Seconds later he could hear the sound of a flat line filling the room. Grant. 

More yelling and screaming came from every corner but Melinda didn’t care. All she cared about was right in front of her. The gunshot wound at his side oozed blood. She tried to staunch the flow but more and more gushed out with every movement he made. Melinda wasn’t ready to give up, not with the end looming so close, not with the certainty of death from the fatal blow to his side. 

“Phil, you’re okay. Breathe. Just breathe. Open your eyes. It’s ok. You’re ok. Wake up. Please wake up. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. I love you.”

8 Hours Later:

Grant wakes up with a gasp, he stares at the flickering ceiling light above him. He closes his eyes and clenches his fists due to the incoming pain of an injury that he can’t quite remember how he got.

“Welcome back.” Officer Ward states. He turns his head in the direction of the voice and spots a blurry figure standing across the room. He moves upright into a sitting position. He then noticed that he was stripped out of his prison uniform and now was in streetwear. He looks around the room, coming to the realization that they weren’t in the prison any more.

“What happened?” 

“You died.” 

“Can you be a little more specific?” 

“You were shot in the chest and they tried to save you but couldn’t because I rigged the kit so that when it was used on you, it made you appear to have a bad reaction which caused you to die.” 

“How did you know to come to the room? The alarms didn’t go off and the lights didn’t flash after he hit the button.” 

“That morning I rewired the alarm system so that only I get notified on a separate device and the signal is delayed for everyone else. The staff came in because of the gunfire.”

“I-Is he dead?”

“We don’t know yet.”

“When will you know?”

“Soon.”

“Am I free at last?”

Officer Ward nods and walks out the room. 

Grant waits another moment to let his vision get better, just in case. He rubs his eyes and gets off the table. He makes sure he is stable before deciding to go and explore the building. He wanders around the hallways for a bit. Out of the corner of his eye he spots a small daisy placed between a door and a wall. Curiosity gets the best of him as he walks over and carefully picks it up, studying it for a moment. 

Grant ends up finding another one then another one. Soon he is busy following a trail of daisies down the hall. Not really aware of where the trail was leading him, Grant picks up what he hopes is the final flower and finds himself stepping into a large but incredibly fancy room with giant windows.

The windows are covered in dust and the room doesn’t appear to have any living furniture making it look as if he was in an old abandoned hotel or loft. He marvels at the view in front of him. Grant then turns his attention to the woman who has her back facing him. Her hair is down and she is wearing a grey long-sleeved shirt with black jeans that is paired with sneakers. 

“Daisy?” He calls with his voice shaking. He knew getting his hopes up was a bad idea but once she turned around letting a huge smile appear on her face, he knew it was his Daisy. He had finally found her. He stands there staring at her. After all the time they spent apart she still looked like the same girl he met once upon a time ago.

“I thought you were-” He begins as she runs over to him and hugs him tightly. “…don’t say it.” She interrupts, wrapping her arms more tighter around him. After a moment of silence he speaks up. “Was it all an act? You wanting to kill yourself?” Daisy shakes her head. 

“No, it wasn’t an act but after I got out, I was put on self harm and suicide watch for a while. It was really hard.” She starts. Grant holds his breath and listens as she speaks.

“They would constantly dangle the idea of seeing you again like a carrot over my head in order to get me to recover. I thought they were lying. I kept calling them delusional. I called my doctor heartless far too many times. Even if it was false hope, I still held onto the thought of seeing you again, one day.” She explained. 

“But after I left, I was worried you would forget about me.” She adds. Grant releases his breath. “I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. If it makes you feel any better, I never forgot about you because you’re not a very easy person to forget.” He gives an encouraging smile. Daisy gives a soft laugh. “I gotta say, I’m a little surprised that you agreed to go along with their plan.” She admits.

“If I knew...If I knew the plan about what they were going to do to you...I would have said and done a handful of things differently.” He confessed while seeing images of Natasha and Phil run through his mind. 

“It’s not like you could have done anything to help.” She points out. “You meant the world to me, I should have protected you.” He protests back. “It’s okay, I can handle myself.” Daisy reassures. 

“Listen, Daisy, I might never get another chance to say this but, I love you.” 

“I know.”

—————

Melinda paces back and forth as Phil laid still on the hospital bed. She glanced over at the heart rate monitor and gave a quiet sigh while reading his heart rate, proving to herself once more that he would be okay. She then moves her vision to the clock and realizes that she had been here for a while, waiting and waiting. 

Growing anxious, she sits down in the chair next to the bed and decides to get some rest hoping that he would wake up sooner rather than later. Before falling asleep, she silently rehearses a version of what she might say to Phil and silently drifts off to sleep.

About half an hour after Melinda goes to sleep, Phil wakes up still groggy from the pain meds and finds her asleep in the chair next to him. Not wanting to wake her, he tries his best to move around in the bed. He coughed loudly, accidentally waking her up. 

“How long have you been here?” He asks.

“Long enough.” She replies, rubbing the sleep off her face. 

“You looked very peaceful while you were sleeping, sorry to wake you up.”

“It’s fine.” She yawns. 

“After this you should really get some rest.” He suggests.

“I’ll be fine, besides, I work well at night.”

“We’ll see about that.” He smirks.

When her face changes from playful to serious, Phil’s smirk is gone and is replaced with a serious face. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Phil, do you want to discuss what happened, back at the prison?” 

He nods. “Where do I start? So much happened in such a short amount of time.”

“What were you guys talking about before he did what he did?”

“Daisy and how he should move on from her.”

“Who brought her up first, you or him?” She questioned.

He hesitates. “Me.”

“Why? What were you trying to accomplish?”

“You told me to be honest with him so in the beginning of the session, I apologized for what I said. It felt as if we were having a moment like a heart to heart.”

“Did you ever stop to wonder if the moment was one-sided?”

“No, Mel, he was-he was not- it is hard to describe but it was like he was surrendering.”

‘Surrendering himself?”

“More like, surrendering his feelings and like he didn’t even care- he didn’t even care that he was being vulnerable, with me of all people. He admitted that he couldn’t save Daisy and that he was the one to blame for her death.”

“Bringing her up was not a smart idea, you know what she means to him and he knows what she means to you. He was probably using the fact that you couldn’t help her to his advantage, to bluff.”

“After everything that happened today, I think I have come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t help Daisy. And after what happened to Grant, I realized that not everyone can be saved.”

“It’s inevitable that you can’t save everyone, even from themselves, but, we have to try right?” 

Phil nods.

After a moment of silence Melinda speaks. 

“I thought I lost you.”

“Well, it’s safe to say that you didn’t.”

“Good.”

“I love you.” He admits blushing slightly.

“So, you finally admit it?”

Phil gives a nervous laugh which causes Melinda to smile. 

“Shut up and kiss me, doctor's orders.”

“Yes ma’am.” 

After their kiss, Melinda decides to ask a question that had been lingering in her mind for a while now. 

“Do you have plans to come back to work?” Melinda asks, tilting her head slightly. 

A soft smile appears on Phil’s face. 

“Maybe,” He answers. 

“Come back, I still need you.” She whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story for the past year. I just wanted to say apologies for the lack of Philinda in the beginning of the chapter, I tried to make it up at the end.
> 
> And yes, Mel saying the story's title was on purpose :)
> 
> If you are curious as to what is next for me after this story, I will be finishing up Alone along with positing one shots. Again thank you <333


End file.
